As kids, television and movies made us worried about very specific (and nonexistent) problems—like quicksand and the Bermuda Triangle. However, as I grow older and venture out into the so-called “real world,” I realize more and more that we were left utterly unprepared for the true horrors of adulthood. I am still in college which, admittedly, is like Adulthood Junior, but I can see the writing on the wall and I’m terrified.
Join me in wallowing in self-pity with this very pessimistic list of the 7 suckiest things about adulthood that no one warned me about:
1. Meal Planning
The most shocking revelation is that I’m burdened with having to decide what I want to have for dinner every day for the rest of my life. AND we have to try and make them healthy and affordable. I may or may not say screw it and eat pasta for like 80% of my meals…
2. Scraping Off Your Car’s Windshield
There is nothing worse than being late for work/class and running out to your car only to be met with a thick, unrelenting slab of ice. If you say you’ve never fought off tears while scraping off your windshield then you either a) are lying or b) have much better time management than me.
3. Paying for the Boring Necessities
Of course, the best part of having a job is hopefully having extra money to spend on fun stuff like iced lattes and concert tickets and Fenty lip gloss. What’s horrible, though, is seeing your paycheck go out the window on the boring necessities. Like $12 (over an hour’s wage for me) on laundry detergent. Or toilet paper? Tampons? Windex? No thanks.
4. Holidays Not Hitting the Same
I still love the holiday season, but I have to admit it has gone downhill each year ever since I (spoiler alert) found out that Santa isn’t real. And as much as I’m glad to receive my ~useful adult gifts~ I do miss the simple joy of getting Webkinz and Build-a-Bears and an Easy-Bake Oven. I miss those elementary school classroom parties too…
5. Driving
When I was a teenager, there was nothing I was more excited for than my driver’s license. And I’m still grateful for it and the freedom that it entails. However, the stress of driving on icy roads or through a hectic big city and getting stuck in rush hour traffic is pretty much my version of hell. Not to mention dealing with car insurance, gas, parking tickets, oil changes, and forking over hundreds for new tires. Sigh.
6. Deep Cleaning
I of course had chores growing up, like cleaning my room and vacuuming. However, it’s a whole other beast to be responsible for all household chores, especially those not trusted to me as a child, like deep cleaning the fridge, scrubbing the microwave, and anything involving bleach.
7. Being Separated from Friends and Family
After high school and then again after college, friend groups are split up as people scatter across the country for various different opportunites. It’s exciting to explore new terrain, yet so hard to say goodbye. Thank goodness for FaceTime.