During the coronavirus pandemic, many things have changed including celebrations, friendships and achievements. Essentially for the United States, life changed. Through no fault but our own it won’t return that way for quite some time. For college aged students and other teens and twenty somethings, one hard objective has included dating. While the dating scene has always been rough, in today’s day and age, it is even more difficult. Here’s why.
- Connections are less personable.
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With regular dates, it is always more meaningful to be able to go out and see a person well in person. The connection can be sensed, and you can feel sparks fly. However, over texts and snapchats, it is hard to know what a person may be feeling. It becomes harder to read body language because you may not even be able to see it. While phone calls and facetimes allow you to see a person or hear them, it’s not the same as seeing them in person. RIP people who’s love language is physical touch.
- Communication is difficult.
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Not all people are able to communicate effectively even in person. Communication is more effective when it happens in person. Due to social distancing, new dates can’t always get together to talk things through. Hard conversations can be even harder if one or both parties are uncomfortable with talking on the phone. I’ve experienced it a lot where a guy has not wanted to call me or facetime. When I couldn’t see them, it made it even more difficult on me to build a closer connection. In the words of my close friend Jake, “dating during COVID has made things a lot more difficult, but when it comes to dating during a pandemic, there are certain things that should be dealbreakers like [refusing] or not wanting to call or facetime when not being able to be face to face.” It is genuinely one of my dealbreakers no matter if there’s a pandemic or not. Communication is they key to any type of relationship and even more so in a romantic one. I love to talk and delve deeper into my relationships and know what people think and feel or what’s on their mind.
- Dates are less fun.
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With closures, shutdowns, and restrictions, date options are limited. Especially now in the winter, all the cozy warm indoor activities are closed or restricted. I would love to go ice skating, museum viewing, or have a cozy dinner, but those aren’t options right now. Outdoor activities are even harder to do because it is chilly outside, and I will freeze in 5 minutes. When the weather warms up, more opportunities become available for fun and spontaneous dates. From my list, the one I want to achieve the most in summer is stargazing, even if I have to do it alone. Some people are really crafty when it comes to dates. I personally see no issue with McDonald’s and Mario Kart, but I also would love a bougie dinner and flowers. I’m really creative when it comes to thinking of fun dates with someone I like. It often surprises my date because they’re like “wow so much effort,” when in reality I spent 10 minutes on google. Virtual or socially distanced dates are similar in that they can be fun if given the chance.
- Milestones are missed.
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As stated, dates are harder so after talking to someone for a while, that first date may be harder to organize unless the person is really creative and wants your time. Even more so, meeting the parents, attending family gatherings and other milestones may be unattainable due to safety. Yes, there is social distancing and masks, but senior citizens and other family members or parents may have underlying conditions that make it hard for them to socialize with someone they don’t know. Hitting these milestones may be even harder during a pandemic and may continue to be harder. Even celebrations for anniversaries, big dates, nights out can be difficult to achieve.
- Standards fluctuate.
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I have a genuine list of standards that I like to keep guys to. While a great and genuine man does not have to fit all of those standards, I still want to keep him to a level that makes me happy. However, during the pandemic, my standards have fluctuated. A requirement of mine is that someone calls me frequently, but as mentioned in number 2, that can be harder during a pandemic. Similarly, I like going on 2 dates a month, but again that is harder to do. Yet, with every man, I allow myself to try to understand him better and try to understand myself and how we can correlate together. Though my standards themselves aren’t any lower, they fluctuate to be more understanding of people’s situations and lifestyles compared to mine which is what’s most important. It’s not about finding someone on my list, but rather finding someone who makes me forget it exists.
Though dating is tough during the pandemic, there are a number of things to remember. Jake is my biggest dating critic. He always reminds me that “you deserve more than you’ve been dealt,” but the thing that is most important that he’s told me is that “[I] have to find someone willing to go out of their way and comfort…and [to] actually make [me] feel like they actually want you in their life consistently.” Jake’s my reminder to not be an idiot and to always put me first and never lower my standards to keep someone, even with a pandemic. So, I get it. Dating is extremely hard, and it is no easier during a pandemic. The key is patience and understanding. Though times are tough, the situations you find yourself in are only as difficult as you make your mind up to be. Don’t worry, things will look up for yours or my love life soon.
HCXO, Cecilia