Written by Hannah Spaeth
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
Feminism has become the standard of modern media. With trending hashtags like #GirlBoss and #SheEO (which in themselves are problematic) being used every day, certain users have found space to critique significant flaws in corporate feminism. However, “hyper-feminists” (loosely coined by urban dictionary as ‘feminists who took their job too far’) of platforms like TikTok and Twitter have begun to reach far beyond reasonable opprobrium of non-intersectional and corporate feminism. In recent debates, many young women have drawn attention to theories that women’s participation in hookup culture, sex work (like the trending platform OnlyFans), and fanbases (like that of Barstool’s “Call Her Daddy”) are results of internalized misogyny. These well-meaning (yet slightly misled) users reason that the ‘sexual liberation’ aspect of third-wave feminism is performative to the male gaze and promotes the acceptance of both internalized and external misogyny. They’re wrong.
For starters, most of these seemingly-radical proposals are still ultimately rooted in rape culture. These notions miss a point that has been laid on thick by most women since the #MeToo movement of 2017: personal sexualization is not equivalent to consent. To act as if women who participate in sex work, for example, are non-sentient beings who stupidly exist only to perform for the male gaze springs from the notion that women who are overtly sexual only do it for men.
“But they do just do it for men! Sex work is inherently performative to the male gaze!”
To those who might not be familiar with this phrase “The Male Gaze,” it is a term proposed by essayist and film theorist Laura Mulvey, who suggests that visual media (and, by extension, society as a whole) will continuously sexualize women for the benefit of heterosexual men. In this breath, hyper-feminists suggest that sex work and even hookup culture result from societal pressure to be sexual for the pleasure of straight men only. Not only is this idea extremely heteronormative (what about queer women who partake in hookup culture?), but it also frames the male gaze as a lone oppressor and not a social structure. Behaving un-sexually is not, and never has been, an impediment to this institution. After all, what is it that a woman can do that she won’t be sexualized for? Wear a high school uniform? Be an employee? Be an employer? The porn industry sexualizes traits that are as simple as wearing glasses, being a step-sibling, or even being a virgin. Acting un-sexually will not eliminate the male gaze.
Social structures take centuries to disarm and deconstruct, and it is the oppressor’s responsibility to unlearn them, not the oppressed. Shaming women for partaking in the same openly sexual activities as men (especially hookup culture and locker-room talk, and even pornography) is not the way to move an agenda of equality forward.
As an online generation, we often forget that social media platforms can become an echo chamber. In many cases, these echo-chambers polarize members and encourage them to push the boundaries of modern feminism. This can be a good thing, but it also fosters a disengagement from reality. Although open sexuality as a woman is promoted online and in the media, we often forget that it is still very much looked down upon in real life. Think of the women you are close to in contrast to the men: how many are genuinely comfortable discussing their sex life among companions? How many will readily admit that they are in touch with their body? Results from a survey conducted by Bustle show that, although roughly 81% of women masturbate, nearly 30% will lie and say they don’t (the reason being “embarrassment” or “fear”). Social media has created an illusion that society will readily accept women as sexual beings, but that’s all it is: an illusion. Why, then, do so many users suggest that the ‘sexual liberation’ facet of modern feminism is damaging? How can that even be proven when ‘sexual liberation’ has barely existed outside the media?
There are few, if any, words to describe ideas so radical that they become circular in our dictionary. This is one of those ideas. To advocate that women engaging in sexual habits, like hookup culture, sex work, and sexual conversation is non-self respecting and damaging to the feminist movement is not just an incorrect argument; it’s a dated one. These critiques are all rooted in age-old ideas of purity related to Freud’s Madonna-Whore complex. Women have been divided into these two factions, and any steps over the boundaries of Madonna immediately label a woman as an immodest and shameful enemy to femininity. We see the same conservative, traditionalist ideology on loop here. Although these critiques on outward sexuality take place at the opposite end of the political spectrum, it’s the same sentiment: women who engage in overt sexual activity do not respect themselves.
The flaws of hyper-feminism are real, and ultimately, they are damaging to the feminist movement. Although well-intentioned young women (and young men) online have made astute notice of how the male gaze and other misogynistic societal structures penetrate our lifestyles, they have wrongly applied these findings — shaming women rather than the oppressors. Engaging in the same sexual activity that queer women and all men do isn’t a result of internalized misogyny. Making money in a pornographic industry the same way queer and straight men do isn’t a result of internalized misogyny. Engaging in Call Her Daddy-esq locker-room talk that all men do is not a result of internalized misogyny. However, critiquing women for these things and labeling them as ‘bad allies to feminism,’ on the other hand, is a result of internalized misogyny and shows a blindness to realities of life in America, let alone a complete
ignorance of international sexism as a whole. Maybe one day we can engage in a societal discourse concerning why we can not seem to shake these outdated, misogynistic attitudes and constructs surrounding sex, but until then, let us uplift other women — not abash them for going against the grain.