One of the questions I probably get asked the most time and time again is: “How are you so ok with being single?” This question gets brought up more times than I can count by my family and friends and I don’t blame them for doing so. It all goes back to the fact that I’ve never been in a relationship. Yes, you heard that right. In all my 21 years of life, I have never been in a relationship before.
Even though I’ve yet to experience the joys and wonders of being in a relationship, somehow I’m actually happy being single. For the longest time, I never knew how to answer the yearning curiosities my friends and family held about my love life. I just knew I was content. But, the more thought I gave these questions, the more I realized why I was so ok being single.
And there are actually a couple of reasons why.
- I got tired of feeling bad about being single.
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It actually took me a long time to learn how to be happy being single. Truth is, I used to despise my singleness. Going back to my high school days, I always felt this constant sense of sadness and loneliness over my lack of a significant other. Factor in the hopeless romantic side of me, plus the pressure from society to be in a relationship, and the couples I saw at my school―being in a relationship just seemed so incredible.
However, this constant desire for relationships became emotionally draining and nearly toxic. All this desire of mine did was make me feel bad about myself―wondering if a boy would ever see me in that way and whether or not something was wrong with me because I hadn’t dated yet. It eventually got to the point where it became too much for me, and that’s when I came to the realization that the only reason why my singleness sucked so much was that I was the one making it that way. This entire time, I had the choice to make the best of my singleness, which brings me to my next point.
- I discovered the small joys of singleness.
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Sure, relationships have their perks, but so does singleness. Once I started learning how to be ok with being on my own, I started to see the beauty of being single. This phase of my life has given me so much time and independence―time to strengthen the relationships with my friends and family, become a better version of myself, figure out what I want, and work on my passions. I’ve heard from so many other people that I won’t ever have that much time and independence when I do get into a relationship, which is why I made it a priority to enjoy it as much as I can.
- I trust in God’s plan.
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The universe, higher power, or whatever you choose to call it―I’ve simply decided to put my full trust in God’s plan. There’s something so comforting about knowing that life will naturally work itself out in my favor no matter what I may be facing right now, so, why worry? I’m a huge believer that everything (good or bad) happens for a reason, and the same goes for my season of singleness. Maybe because it’s not the right time yet or maybe it’s because the person who I am supposed to date isn’t ready yet. Either way, it’s all happening for the best.
- I’m not quite ready to be in one yet.
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I’m at that point in my life where I’m still trying to figure myself out and what I want to do. I wouldn’t say I’m discontent, but I’m definitely not where I want to be in life right now and or the person I want to be. All I know is I want to figure out these parts of my life before I get into a relationship. It’s like that one cliche quote everyone says about learning how to be happy on your own before getting into a relationship. It just wouldn’t be fair of me to invest myself into another person if I’m not fully in love with myself first.
