It’s no secret that a woman’s intuition is one of her many super powers. Nobody has to tell us anything, we just know. You know that feeling of unsettlement you get in your stomach when faced with a situation, conflict, or decision? Or the voice in your head that spends hours replaying past events that simply just didn’t add up? That’s your intuition encouraging you to reconsider, reevaluate, and reassess the situation. A woman’s intuition can be extremely helpful while navigating relationships and friendships of all kinds, if she lets it be, of course.
As much of a resource as it is, our intuition often gets ignored due to being mistaken for a trait I’m sure we all wish we could turn off from time to time: overthinking. In contrast to intuition, overthinking plagues our minds as a result of trauma. Meaning, any simple event can cause overthinking, whereas our intuition is strategically only triggered when necessary.
Understanding and being able to decipher between overthinking and your intuition is crucial; you’d hate to overthink and subsequently overreact, and you’d absolutely despise rejecting your intuition for the fear of overthinking only to end up being laissez faire and taken advantage of.
Imagine you’re about two years in with your partner. After two years, it’s safe to assume you know your partner’s habits and behaviors; at 5 o’clock they get off work, at 6 o’clock they get home, and by 8 o’clock you have their undivided attention at dinner.
However, let’s say one day your normal appears in new clothing. Instead of having dinner consumed with one another, your partner suddenly lacks an appetite, but rather busies themselves with their cell phone. Instead of coming home at 6 oclock, they don’t make it home til about 7:30, blaming traffic for their tardiness. And yes, they usually do get off work at 5 oclock, but suddenly their boss needs them to stay for overtime, for three days in a row.
Despite their claims that normal is still present, and despite the lack of evidence to support anything, your intuition will refute any and all excuses your partner may try to dress their new behaviors in. Even if you want to believe them, you won’t be able to. Even if you want to suppress the truths in your mind, they will persist. Your intuition will always force you to step out of your perspective and examine your situation as an outsider looking in; and trust me, it’s a lot easier to see a stranger in the wrong than the person you love.
Intuition helps you navigate what is. On the other hand, overthinking is the embodiment of all your exaggerated worst-case-scenarios coming to fruition. Overthinking creates situations that do not exist based on fear, impulse, and -this ones gonna hurt- insecurity.
Let’s revisit the prior scenario: You and your partner of 2 years are doing well. You’re in a communicative, affectionate, and fulfilling dynamic; you have no reason not to trust them, but you have dealt with infidelity with past partners. While they’ve had to be careful with you and learn how to love you properly, nothing has been bad enough to shake the foundation you’ve built.
Until it’s their birthday; you and your partner enjoy a night out accompanied by a group of his/her friends. It’s a co-ed group, but at the head of the table sits your partner with you on their left, and on the right their single, semi-attractive “best friend” of the opposite gender. While nothing of the romantic nature -to your knowledge, that is- has occurred between the two of them, you can’t help but think to yourself, of all the seats, why does she have to sit on his left, right across from me?
Your partner tells a joke, and she throws her head back and bellows a laugh that echoes louder than anyone in the group, maybe even anyone in the city; a laugh that causes yours to end abrupt, because suddenly nothing is funny. When the waiter brings your drinks to the table, your partner asks her how it is, and she offers him a taste just a tad too eagerly. You watch your partner with squinted eyes, almost daring him to sip from the same draw as her. Your partner notices your gaze and declines to taste the drink, but you can’t help but wonder why the hell was she so inviting in the first place? Have they done this before?
The check comes and your partner decides to pay for the three of you. Your being heats up with confusion, disbelief, and of course, jealousy. Before he can even sign the merchant copy, you’ve already decided they’ve been intimate in the past and there’s no changing your mind.
Only, you’re wrong. When you confront your partner with these suspicions, you’re met with a truth that reveals that the woman is in fact a year into her own relationship, with another woman. A truth so removed from the scenario you’ve created in your mind that all you can do is agree to move on, and respond with a reluctant, “hmm.”
While overthinking, and confronting your partner with the imaginary scenarios and quickly drawn up conclusions you’ve curated, you risk appearing a little less than sane. However, a woman’s intuition never does lie. Proceeding with caution as a result of listening to your intuition will never lead you farther into deception, but the pains of the truth you may encounter is always something for which you must prepare.
Sometimes good things are really just that: good. In that case, cease your overflow of thoughts and enjoy the good. However, when conflicted on if you’re overthinking or if your intuition is trying to communicate with you, remember that dishonesty only dwells in the darkness temporarily. Light will always come and illuminate truths as they are, rather than what they seem.