Funerals during COVID-19

I was five years old when I met a friend who is now a fellow Agnes Scott student. Back then we had just started kindergarten and became friends immediately. Since then we have been attached at the hip. Our families moved cities together and we both ended up picking Agnes Scott. We have been friends for fifteen years now, I’ve been on family vacations with them, I have a bed at their home, I grew up with her. On January 17th 2021 her grandfather passed away.  

I know him as Papa Fred. He was older and a carpenter. I’m closer with his wife Joanne who is still alive. He died while in the hospital with COVID-19 and his death is attributed to his illness. My mother woke me up at 8:36am on the 17th and told me he had passed away. I had about thirty minutes of sleep as I had been up all night on the phone with a friend (responsible I know). I could not go back to sleep knowing she would know soon. If she needed me I had to be ready to be there for her.  

Around lunchtime she called me over. I wore two masks and stayed six feet away. We sat in her backyard. It was a little chilly but the breeze was nice. Neither of us could put the words “Dead” and “Papa Fred” together so we talked about other things in life. We ate Panera Bread and tried to act as normal as possible.  

In her backyard there’s a small playhouse. It’s pink and she’s had it forever. I have flickers of memories from when we had first met. She lived in a different house then with her mother and father. It was before he passed, we’d played in the house. I was unable to be there for her when her father passed because we at that time did not have the connection we have today. We’d only been friends for a few years when it happened.    

Other parts of COVID-19 are tolerable. Yes, staying home for 9 months sucks, but you’re working to keep people safe, yes wearing a mask is irritating but you’re protecting yourself and others. There is nothing tolerable about being incapable. Completely and utterly unable to help. Something as simple as walking over and watching a movie to take someone’s mind off their grief is an inherently dangerous act in these times.  

• COVID-19
• masks
• mental health
• politics