Lockdown round one sucked. We know this. But at least in the warmer weather we could go for walks, open our windows, let in some fresh air and see the sun. Now we’re about two weeks (I think? Time has no meaning anymore) into Lockdown 2.0 and I don’t know about you all, but for me, it’s been so much worse.
No walks, no fresh air, no sun. The days are short, the air is cold and I won’t speak for all of you, but I’m tired all the time. My motivation has tanked. I’ve been spending a lot of time sad and alone, and I’ve run out of things to talk about with my roommates. They’re forced to listen to me say the same things over and over again. It’s not my fault! I haven’t had life experiences in ten months!
Anyway, I think we can all agree that this lockdown is exhausting. But luckily for you, I have a suggestion that is cheap, easy and will make your life about 12% more exciting. That suggestion is Dutch Blitz.
Dutch Blitz is a “vonderful goot” card game in which four people compete to get as many coloured and numbered cards onto the table as they can before someone yells “BLITZ!” and the swearing commences.
The game begins when everyone is set up, and someone counts down. There is immediate chaos. When a card with a 1 on it appears, it starts a pile in the middle of the table, which everyone can play upon. A card can only be played onto another card of the same colour and value before it, for example, a yellow 4 could only be played on a yellow 3. The player can play from every third card in their hand, putting down two, then flipping the third face up with the hopes of finding a number and colour that will match something in the middle. Everyone plays at once, trying to stack their numbers from one to ten in matching colours as the table gets more and more crowded. Cards can also be played from the three face-up cards next to the Blitz pile, which free up a space to move a card from the Blitz pile. The main goal is to play the three face-up cards until all ten of the cards in the Blitz pile have been revealed. Once the last card from the Blitz pile is flipped, the player shouts “BLITZ!”, and everyone who has lost the round screams in frustration.
Then, it’s time to take score. Any cards in your hand, or face up but not yet played, are put aside. The cards in the middle of the table are counted, and for each card the player played, marked by the symbols on the back of the cards, they get a point. But, for each card that remains face down in their Blitz pile, they lose two points. The winner is the first player to reach 75 points.
I’m not sure if my description does the game justice, but I will say this: Dutch Blitz is absolute chaos. It’s a mad scramble of flipping cards and missing opportunities by seconds. If you’re spending too much time by yourself, or if you and your roommates have run out of things to talk about, stop talking and start screaming at each other over who put their green 7 down first.
Dutch Blitz is available at Walmart and can be found where other card games are sold. Packs include enough cards for four players, but there are expansion packs available allowing up to eight players to play at once. Instructions are included, please don’t rely on my description. Happy Blitzing!
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