Stress: The Lies We Tell Ourselves

It’s that time in the semester again. The time where everything feels like a chore and there’s nothing to do but go through the motions. The end is near, but it’s just not here yet. School is hard on us, and we’re hard on ourselves. 

No matter how hard I try, I struggle under stress. I don’t get enough sleep, I feel like garbage for falling out of my routine and my healthy eating patterns. Even if I feel like I’ve done a good job on a paper or a lab, I’m always holding onto my work until right before the deadline. As a perfectionist, I struggle a lot trying to find out how to get it “right”, finding the perfect balance between school and work without burning out. I try to do everything at full capacity all the time. The reality is that unless you’re a star at time management and never get distracted, doing school work looks more like working at a half capacity all the time or at 100% capacity only some of the time. If you get it done with no distractions, kudos to you. If you don’t, you should know that the majority of us all feel the same way. 

School is a lot to balance, and it’s meant to be that way. While the content we learn will be transferable to a certain degree, depending on what you study, university is all about learning how to learn effectively. Think about it- we learn time management, we learn to work as a team, we learn how to critically assess problems and learn how to do research. 

“Meeting all my deadlines seems impossible.”

You will get it all done. If you’ve come this far, you haven’t failed yourself yet. It always sucks to get to this point of the semester and be behind on your readings, dragging through your papers, and trying to keep up with lectures. I always get anxious when I look at my calendar and see all the work  I still have left to do. I get unfocused when I have too many mental tabs open, so I find it helpful to work through things one step at a time. Try laying out your deadlines and make sure to give yourself large chunks of time to work through different assignments. That’s the beauty of online school- if you need a day to put your head down and write a paper, you have less specific time commitments you need to work around. Maybe you’re the opposite of this and feel better getting everything started rather than working through one thing at a time. In that case, if you just can’t find the motivation to start, try telling yourself you can pick anything from your to-do list, no matter how small, as long as you’re doing something. For me, this at least gets the gears turning. 

“I won’t get to where I want to be if I don’t function at full capacity!” 

Maybe you have to keep up a certain GPA in order to maintain or secure a scholarship, future grad program, or opportunity. Maybe you want good grades for yourself. Whatever it is, it’s easy to get into the work mindset and to deny yourself a break. If you try to go at 100% all the time, you’re setting yourself up for burning out. When you don’t take time to rest, you won’t be able to function well when you need to, which will most likely make you equally, if not less productive. Even if it’s hard, schedule yourself some time away from school to relax. It can be hard to step away when it’s getting cold out or if there isn’t much else to do. At the very least, take some time off your screens to work out, cook, bake, read, journal, or drink coffee with a friend. Always remember, it’s not weak or unproductive to take time away. 

“Bad grades equate to my self worth.”

I have a lot of friends who do really well in school. When I was growing up, I did extremely well in school too. Again, as a perfectionist, this is something I decided to leave at the door when I started university. The stakes here are higher, and I knew I would go crazy trying to maintain the same marks I got in high school. I still try my best, but I found it’s important to stop equating my grades with my self worth. One bad grade is not a failure, it’s a learning curve. Your grades are just some numbers or letters. Remember, you are so many things other than your grades. You are your personality. You are your relationships. You are all the things you love to do in your free time that make you feel like yourself. Yes, depending on how you view yourself, maybe you do think of school as a large part of who you are. However, try not to base your self worth on your grades, and most importantly, don’t let your marks impact your self image. 

“I can’t bounce back from one or two bad marks.”

 Again – your grades don’t define you. Try your best, but try not to get hung up on one or two bad marks. Whatever is stressing you out, think to yourself- will it be important in 5 years? If not, it’s not worth your tears. Remember the big picture- one loss isn’t going to stop you from success in the long run. If something happens that sets you off your path- remember there is no one way to do anything. And if there is no one way, there is always another way to get to where you want to be. Don’t waste time being discouraged. 

If you don’t hear this often, you are doing great. You have come so far, and just getting to where you are now should make you proud. It’s not worth it to burn out. You will finish everything you need to, and the rest will fall into place. It’s hard when you’re deep into your semester or degree to see the end result. Your path might change, but no matter what, you will get to exactly where you’re supposed to be in the end. Keep your head up, and let stress be a momentary impediment- it doesn’t get to run your life. 

• advice
• school
• stress
• wellness