Have you ever laid awake at night thinking about all the things that might be going wrong in your life? Have you ever sat in a crowded room of people laughing and having fun and still feel like you’re out of place? Have you ever laid in bed all day, too tired and exhausted to get up and interact with your housemates because you’re too anxious about what to say?
These are the things I have been feeling lately… and the thing that drives me the craziest about it is that for the longest time, I just couldn’t seem to pinpoint why.
Why do I feel like nothing makes sense in my life? Why don’t I enjoy the same things I normally do? Why do I not have the energy to talk to my friends? WHY DO I FEEL THIS WAY?
I’ve been wracking my brain for answers and the only one I could seem to find is the same answer everyone else seems to have these days: COVID.
You know that global pandemic—or is it an epidemic now (??)—that’s completely transformed everything in our lives for almost a whole year of our lives?!
For the past few months, I feel like my anxiety levels have been so on and off that I really can’t seem to even keep up with how I’m going to be feeling. And you know what? That’s okay. I’m not saying it is okay to keep experiencing this and that doing something to prevent it isn’t necessary because maybe it is—however, I am saying that this feeling is completely normal with everything that is going on in this world right now.
With everyone on such different pages about how to handle this chaos, it is understandable that you might not necessarily want to be doing the same thing that your friends are doing right now. Everyone is dealing with this in different ways and that is okay. There is nothing wrong with you and what you’re feeling. It is an extremely frustrating time right now, and a lot of things in your life have probably completely changed in an unexpected way. I know for me, being away at school for the whole semester without having any breaks to go home has been really difficult on my mental health. But these are all unique circumstances due to the condition of the world right now, and while that sucks, it is only natural that you are feeling overwhelmed and anxious.
It will be okay. Take some time to reflect on how far you’ve come. This has been going on for months and you have made it through. You will feel like yourself again.