Stop worrying about what girl you are, and just be the girl you already are.
“Don’t be the girl that’s too nice or too mean”
“Don’t be the girl that tries too hard or that doesn’t try at all”
“Don’t be the girl who’s too loud or too quiet”
“Don’t be THAT girl”
I have both heard and given the advice to “not be that girl”, and it’s anything but constructive.
As girls, it’s in our nature to compare ourselves to others. It shouldn’t be this way, but we have been conditioned from our earliest years to be “a lady”.
Think about it: what do you imagine when you think of “being a lady”? It likely has a connotation of being submissive and compliant.
One Tree Hill described the ridiculous comparisons made against girls best: “Don’t be too fat, or too thin, or too dark, or too light; don’t be too sexual, or too chaste, or too smart, or too dumb. Be yourself. But make sure you fit in”.
This pressure to stand out while also blending in is like trying to measure what is considered the “perfect” amount of sugar in your coffee: you can never get it perfect according to everyone.
I personally focused for far too long on trying not to fit the stereotypes of a “certain type” of girl, and it took a toll on my sense of identity. But, I realized, whoever I am surrounded by will change the “type of girl” I am to others.
With that said, be the loud girl. Be the quiet girl. Be whatever girl you already are because everyone is going to have an opinion regardless.