My mother is the most beautiful person in the entire world.
I vividly remember telling my preschool teacher this as she asked me about my mom. Our teacher wrote down the class’s answers and included them next to pictures we each had drawn of our mothers. I have never been very good at drawing; my sister instead inherited that creative talent. But, I do remember making a point to be as realistic as I possibly could, using blue and green colored pencils for her striking eyes and yellow crayons for her blonde hair.
As a child, I was fascinated by my mother’s blonde hair. Everyone in my family, including myself, has naturally brown hair. Knowing that you could change that was so interesting to me. For most of my childhood, my mom was a stay-at-home mom as my father traveled often for work. When my father was home, and she had a moment to go to the hair salon while he took care of us, I could not wait for her to get back with a fresh new cut and retouched color. Sometimes my sister and I would go with her to the salon. My sister would quickly grow bored, even though my mother always packed an enormously large bag of games and snacks to occupy us. But I was enthralled by the process and always loved chatting about my schoolwork and friends with those that worked at the salon.
As my sister and I grew older, our responsibilities also grew as we took advanced classes, played on school and club volleyball teams and participated in other various extracurricular activities. At some point along the way, my mother decided to stop getting blonde put in her hair. While our free time had decreased, so had hers as she transitioned back into working full-time as a middle school English teacher. She decided her natural hair color was best as it was much less upkeep.
Then, one day, she lost it all.
In late 2015, my mother felt a strange lump in one of her breasts. Our family had gone through cancer before. My dad is a brain cancer survivor who was diagnosed back in 2008. So, we took this discovery very seriously. Though we hoped and prayed it would be something insignificant, our worst fears were realized when the tests came back that my mother had breast cancer.
She had surgery right before Christmas and began chemotherapy treatment in early February. Lost strands of hair quickly turned into large clumps within just a matter of weeks. At breakfast one morning, my mother decided she would take back control. It was time to shave her head. We all gathered around the mirror and took turns helping her shave. I was extremely nervous, scared to do something wrong. But my mom, always with a smile on her face, just laughed, saying, “what’s the worst thing that can happen, you mess up my hair? Too late!”
My mother was bald for quite a while afterward. She wore a hat or a bandana a lot in the first few months, but often just opted to rock the baldness. For some women going through cancer, they find confidence in wearing wigs. But my mom never really gravitated towards wigs. She told me once that her bald hairstyle just felt more empowering to her. While nervous about the reactions she would get in public, and many times she did wish to go out, be able to blend in with the crowd and forget about the cancer, she found she was proud of her battle. Why wouldn’t she show it off?
My mom only loved one wig. It was bright purple and cut into a similar style that she had before the cancer. One of her eighth-grade students carefully picked it out for her and gave it as a gift that year. Yes, that’s right – my kick-butt mother battled breast cancer and was a full-time teacher. In my family, we believe that everything happens for a reason. My mom strongly believes that she went back into teaching that year for a reason. With grace and absolute strength, she was able to teach the students more than just English. She will tell you that cancer gave her a platform to open important conversations about beauty, as middle school students so often focus their time on outward appearances. Her bare, naked bald head shook their world, but in the best way possible.
Even though her hair has grown back now, she continues to wear that bright purple wig each October to raise awareness for breast cancer and to never forget her journey.
My mother, a breast cancer survivor, is the most beautiful person in the entire world.
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