PINK SPOTLIGHT: Survivor

 

As we end October, I am reminded again of the fact that it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The entire month is dipped in pink and acts as a way for breast cancer patients and survivors to get support from those around the country. People donate to research centers and wear pink to show solidarity for the cause – even athletes incorporate pink gear into their uniform for games during the month of October.

Everywhere you go, you are bound to see pink ribbons or other odes to Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The month helps me reflect about what I am so grateful to have. My family is healthy and happy and I could not be more thankful for that. I know how devastating cancer can be and how it has the ability to disrupt the lives of families forever. 

For that reason, this October has reminded me of how fragile the future is and how afraid I am for what could possibly come. 

My great-grandmother Kathryn Cass passed away from metastatic breast cancer when she was 53-years-old. She fought long and hard, but ultimately lost her battle. That is why I am scared. I am afraid that I can be shaped into the strongest possible version of myself, and I may still lose a battle against breast cancer. 

A lot of people will write my fears off as irrational because I am young and try to stay active. But the scary thing is that breast cancer does run in my family. My grandmother and mother may not be affected by the disease, but the genes could still be in my family and I feel that is enough of a basis for some type of rational fear.

Sadly, I never got to meet my great-grandmother Kathryn. I hear stories about her and how she fought for union rights and advocated for equal protection under the law. She sounds like a pretty cool person and the type of woman I can only dream of growing into one day. Kathryn Cass paved a path for everybody in our family to thrive, but more importantly she showed me that even the strongest people can have really tough battles to fight. 

I may never have gotten to meet Kathryn, but I do have other breast cancer patients and survivors in my life. One of my favorite professors and mentors fought breast cancer and won her battle. Professor Victoria St. Martin exemplifies for me what it means to fight and persevere against any battle.

She was diagnosed in 2011 at the age of 30 with invasive breast cancer. Professor St. Martin went  to her doctor because she found a lump, and she was almost sent home before the doctor saw the issue. She found the lump on her left breast, but the doctor originally did the biopsy on her right side. After the doctor cleared her to go home, she was told that she should come back in five years for her next mammogram. But she knew her body and insisted that her left breast be checked by the nurse. Professor St. Martin commented that “if [she] didn’t say anything, [she] wouldn’t have made it to 35 for [her] next mamo[gram]”.

Luckily they found the cancer early and the medicine was able to help save her life. Professor St. Martin had a double mastectomy and chemotherapy to get rid of the cancer. Crazily enough, the surgery and chemo was not her biggest fear. She was told that “because of the chemo cocktail, it would be impossible to have kids naturally”. This devastated Professor St. Martin because she wanted to become a mom. That was one of the biggest hurdles to go through when she was diagnosed. But as Professor St. Martin usually does, she persisted and continued to fight.

She began to go to support groups to confront her biggest fears and challenges with breast cancer treatments. This support network has become a safety net for her and a way to cope with surviving cancer. The group of friends she has made are so important to her because she has no history of cancer in her family. As much as her mother and her then-boyfriend, now-husband could give her support, they never had that experience before. Having a group of breast cancer patients and survivors to talk to allowed Professor St. Martin to get support from people who were living through the experience.

Another reason that support network was so important was because it was filled with many other young patients and survivors. Only about 7% of women with breast cancer are diagnosed before the age of 40. Professor St. Martin was 30 when she was diagnosed, which means that she had a small community that had  similar experiences. She recalls going in for chemo and surgery and having people ask her for her age. When she would disclose how young she was then she would get stares and comments. Nobody expected somebody as young and as vibrant as her to be diagnosed with breast cancer, but she was. The network of young survivors that she has connected with has become so vital to her and her way of coping.

I say that I am scared of breast cancer because it is such a terrifying disease. I also have the recognition that it can and does happen to young women. So yeah, maybe I am 20 and healthy, but there is a chance that I fall into the 7% of women who are diagnosed with breast cancer before the age of 40. Add that to the fact that I do have a history of breast cancer in my family and my anxiety piles up. I don’t want to be terrified of everything that could possibly happen, but how can I stay away from the fears when every October we bring it up again?

On a much brighter note, medicine is advancing and women are becoming better at detecting lumps or signs of cancer. This means that doctors have a better chance of catching any oncoming signs of the disease early. Early detection is key to staying healthy and safe. My grandmother has told me that her mother, Kathryn, may have been able to fight the cancer if she had detected it sooner. She has constantly preached to me to be aware of my own body and to make sure that I am advocating for my health. 

When I was 13-years-old, my doctor found a small lump in my left breast during a routine check-up. She was almost positive that it wasn’t cancerous, but my mom and her agreed that I should go in and get a tissue biopsy to be sure. I was scared then and in all honesty I can still remember the fear that I had. Turns out my lump was not cancerous, but I am glad that I went in to get it checked out. I needed to take my fate into my own hands and make sure that I was protecting myself at all costs. 

Remember how I said that Professor St. Martin always wanted to be a mom? Well there is a bright spot to her story too. After she beat cancer, she began to focus on her career and her relationship with her now-husband. She saw that some of her survivor friends were having miracle babies without IVF. This led  Professor St. Martin to joke about having a baby one day and she spent two years “wishing and hoping and dreaming” of having a child naturally.

Well last year, she felt kind of sick one morning, so in the middle of it snowing outside she decided to go get a pregnancy test. To her and her husbands’ surprise the test came back positive. Actually all of the tests that she purchased came back positive. The couple was elated and Professor St. Martin mentioned that the “first time hearing her heartbeat was magical”. A few months ago, her daughter Elizabeth was born and she has brought magic and joy into everybody’s lives.

Professor St. Martin named her daughter Elizabeth because both her and her husband had ties to the name, but they wanted to give her a fun nickname. They settled on Lily which is not a traditional nickname for Elizabeth. Professor St. Martin said that the nickname was settled on when she saw a timelapse video of a water lily and she was able to see the magical powers of that flower. Water lilies bloom and blossom after growing from the mud. She mentioned that all of the reconstructive surgeries and chemo were like mud, but yet a beautiful baby girl grew and is now flourishing. Lily mimics her namesake in many ways but mostly because she is such a cutie.

Professor St. Martin got her miracle baby and it gives me hope. She always makes a point to share her story and her battle during Breast Cancer Awareness Month. That is the way that Professor St. Martin ensures that she spreads the message to her students to be proactive and to monitor their health closely. She noted that she wants her daughter to be aware of breast cancer, but not to shy away from it. That really touched me because of the fears that I have. Seeing a role model who is so strong in front of me not be afraid of something so devastating lets me know that it is okay to fight against it with every ounce of strength that I have in me. 

Professor St. Martin shares her knowledge with others to help empower all people but especially young women who could have to fight the same battle that she did. She turned her frustration and confusion into power and a way to bring strength to those around her. She shares her story because there are people who have passed from breast cancer that didn’t get to share theirs. Professor St. Martin said that “a lot of [her] friends would love to have another October” so she utilizes this month to bring awareness and propel others forward.

Before we finished talking, Professor St. Martin left me with two big pieces of advice. The first was to know your own body. Doctors have too many patients to remember everything that you told them last time. It is your job to advocate for yourself. That can be the difference of life or death. It is honestly empowering to know that I have some control in the situation because I can use my own voice.

The second piece of advice was to not be scared even though it is easy to be fearful. It can be “hard to find courage, but find it” as Professor St. Martin said to me. I am not going to shy away from my fear anymore. Instead I will use it to help encourage me to stay informed and to take care of myself. I don’t need to be too afraid when I have the power to control my fate.

I know this is a dreary topic, but it is something that must be talked about. Too often, young women are told not to worry because you are young and full of energy. I know now not to be scared, but writing off any health concerns because of my age is absolutely ridiculous. I will continue to monitor my own body and make sure that I am following up on my own health.

As October ends, it is important to remember the impact that breast cancer can have on families. My grandmother lost her mom when she was 18-years-old and she could have had more time with her if my great-grandmother would have detected the disease earlier. I know that my fears are not completely unfounded, but I am at a point in my life where I would rather be educated and ready then ignorant and terrified. I have great women around me like my grandmother, mother, and Professor St. Martin to show me how to be a strong woman even in the face of adversity. I will use the knowledge that they have shared with me to advocate and teach others, so that hopefully when my sister and Lily are my age  they can feel empowered as well.

This article is a part of HerCampus Notre Dame’s PINK spotlight: a collection of articles to honor Breast Cancer Awareness Month.