It’s Okay to Not Be Humble Sometimes

As womxn, we tend to base a lot of how we see ourselves on how we think others see us first. We make a habit out of quieting our voices, controlling our emotions, and overall minimizing ourselves so that other people aren’t intimidated or bothered by us. The idea of a girl boss has, thankfully, gained traction in society and allowed us the space to be more assertive; but I think there is still an inner fear of seeming “too” much or “too” confident that holds some of us back from our full potential.

Issa Rae is a clear example of a girl boss. And today, my poetry workshop was inspired by her. Having heard that Rae was on SNL this past weekend, my poetry professor was reminded of one of her old acceptance speeches, for the first Womxn In Film Emerging Entrepreneur Award, and played it for us in class. Through her speech, Rae deliberately challenges the expectation of feminine humility by acting boastful and bragging about her accomplishments. It shocks the audience into laughs and is very entertaining but also successfully thought-provoking. So, inspired by that, my poetry professor had us do this exercise: starting each line with “In 2020,” write the things you’ve done that you deserve to give yourself credit for. 

It was a bit surprising to me that so many of us in the workshop commented that this exercise was hard, both before and after attempting it. I, myself, had some trouble coming up with things at first and debating what was worth writing down (ironically enough). I think that struggle is what made the exercise that much more effective. I had to focus on what I’ve done and then intentionally praise myself for it when I probably wouldn’t have before. It was hard at first because it felt unfamiliar, but it doesn’t have to be and it shouldn’t. 

It is okay to not be humble all the time. It is okay to give yourself credit where you deserve it. And you do deserve it! 2020 has been full of difficult and “unprecedented” times for everyone. Give yourself credit even just for surviving and maintaining your life. Remind yourself of all the things you do in a day and praise yourself for that. If all you did was get out of bed, praise yourself for that too! No matter how unfamiliar or awkward it may feel at first. The only person you need acceptance from is yourself. So give it easily. Remember that self-love isn’t selfish. Be proud of all that you’ve accomplished often and don’t let yourself forget it. 

 

• affirmations
• empowerment
• girl boss
• mental health
• praise
• self-love