I’m Starting My First Quarter At UCLA- 8,962 Miles Away

Fall quarter 2020 was supposed to mark an exciting change from my dull quarantine routine. As an incoming freshman, I couldn’t wait for the quintessential college experience. From shouting the 8-clap during game days to trying BPlate’s famous vegan brownies, I was pratically counting the days until I could step foot on UCLA’s picturesque campus. However, as an international student from Indonesia, I was faced with Visa restrictions and travel bans amidst the pandemic. Because of this, I had to stay isolated within the confines of my bedroom 8,692 miles away from sunny So-Cal. How was I supposed to live my best college life while stuck on Zoom? I felt anxious, hopeless and angry from being robbed of my college experience. So angry. 

While these negative thoughts were swimming in my head, I started my first week of classes. My first week was definitely not the best. While I juggled a four-class workload with a 15-hour time difference, I felt more and more isolated. Scrolling through social media, I felt jealous from seeing my friends capturing their fun college experiences while I was still stuck at home. 

But enough was enough, and I began to feel tired of drowning myself in self-pity. I had already wasted my first official week, and I vowed to make the most of my first year of university, albeit virtual. I began to embark on a wellness journey to cultivate the best possible virtual college experience. 

I first focused on prioritizing my emotional and mental health during these uncertain times. Realistically, I needed to give myself time to process my conflicting emotions before jumping into any unreasonable goals too quickly. After taking enough time to reflect, I began finding comfort in health and fitness. Staying active a few days a week and incorporating healthy eating habits helped me reduce some of the stress in my life. I felt energized and filled with positive energy after my bi-weekly sweat sessions, which gave me the confidence that I was so desperately lacking. 

At the same time, since I enjoy a structured daily routine, I tried following a “normal” schedule by planning my outfits everyday, doing my makeup routine and sticking to a relatively consistent sleep schedule. Scheduling and planning my days as if everything was back to normal helped me distract myself from the drastic changes happening in life. I also started to enjoy taking the time out of my day to cook healthy meals. It was a relaxing act of self-care for me, and I found myself utilising cooking as a creative outlet as I pinned hundreds of new recipes to try on my evergrowing Pinterest board.

But not every day was this easy. Some days, I found myself waking up in the late afternoon or being unproductive for hours on end, which stressed me out massively. However, I realized that these insignificant moments were not going to deter my progress on my wellness journey. While it’s nice to have a super productive day of studying, it’s also important to have a Love Island streaming session with a gigantic tub of chocolate chip ice cream here and there. Balance is the key to achieving true wellness. 

I also tried to stay as connected as possible to the UCLA community by joining student organizations. While I initially felt intimidated by the massive UCLA community, I found instant reassurance from joining my first campus organization. Joining Her Campus at UCLA helped me surround myself with empowered women. I am constantly inspired by driven, passionate and hardworking girl bosses. The inclusive and positive atmosphere from all the HC members helped me feel at home and find my place in a virtual university setting. 

At the same time, I tried reaching out to my classmates and other new students. Luckily, I was able to meet friends with similar interests, despite the fact that we all had different backgrounds and were in different timezones. Even though we are physically so far away from one another, we promised to stay connected and meet each other once we can come to campus. Meeting new friends and surrounding myself with the inclusive UCLA community helped me stay connected and still feel a part of campus despite being thousands of miles away. 

Lastly, I always reminded myself to keep a positive and open-minded attitude throughout this experience. This situation is simply a temporary setback, and one day, I’ll be able to come to campus and experience everything that I didn’t get to in my first quarter. I even started to realize that virtual learning presented unique opportunities that I wouldn’t have been able to experience in a physical learning environment. For example, I probably wouldn’t have been able to reach out and connect with as many people. As I can be introverted at times, I wouldn’t have made an effort to stay connected if I didn’t think it was absolutely necessary. Being remote this Fall allowed me to step out of my social comfort zone and reach out to people I wouldn’t have met in different circumstances. I’m incredibly thankful for all the amazing individuals that I have met so far and I truly can’t picture starting my UCLA freshman experience without them.

The amount of personal growth I have experienced in this journey has shaped me into a more confident, happy and self-aware person. As I now enter my thirdweek of the term, I feel only excitement about the possibilities. While I can’t wait to come on campus and soak in the LA sunshine, I am completely and utterly happy with where I am right now, and I look forward to what’s in store for me.  

• college
• college life
• freshman
• international student
• mental health
• quarantine
• self reflection
• UCLA
• virtual learning
• wellness