We’re the generation where “hook-up” culture is the norm. Whether you love it or hate it, it is the predominant method for forming any sort of personal relationship. Being in college, I’ve learned that there are numerous downsides to this “swipe-culture.” The one that hits home the most and is arguably the most painful is ghosting. This is when the person who you’ve been talking to or even dating for an extended period of time—because ghosting is not limited to just the “talking” relationships— cuts off all communication from you with zero warning or notice beforehand. Although you may seem alone in this, ghosting affects nearly everyone, and it is okay to feel hurt and confused by it. With some thought into the logistics behind ghosting, I have compiled some explanations to why ghosting seems normal, yet this method of rejection hurts the most.
Dating apps. The bane of my existence. Who gave this generation the freedom of instant rejection? Within seconds, we have the ability to judge people by their looks and maybe a small description. From there, these small personal relationships often result in “hooking-up” or just opened messages. Inevitably, this whole concept leads to repetitive confusion and often rejection. With this mentality of being able to quickly reject people, our generation is now out in the everyday world thinking it’s okay to cut off people as we so please. The idea of someone having emotions or reactions to being “ghosted” is rarely accounted for, making it simple for people to continue to do it. This generation has normalized playing with others’ feelings for their own personal gain, ease or amusement. An example that I’ve admittedly have done once or twice is waiting a couple hours to open a Snapchat from a guy because I don’t want to seem needy. Instances like these beg the question, is our generation just cowardly when it comes to forming personal relationships? Are we too scared to admit our feelings in the dating scene? Maybe it’s easier to stop returning texts or physically avoid the person who you were “talking” to instead of actually setting boundaries and being honest about our feelings.
Regardless if you are being ghosted or flat-out rejected, it can be an incredibly hard pill to swallow. The next time you are ghosted from a relationship try to take it as a brutal closure to the relationship. Use the lack of responses and lack of effort as enough evidence that maybe the relationship is not worth the energy. Yeah, it definitely is going to hurt, but in the long run, maybe ghosting is actually better than gaining closure or being told what’s wrong with the relationship because who’s to say the person is not just making up excuses that would hurt even more. We are going to continuously overthink any form of rejection, so like everything else, maybe we should start viewing ghosting as an important life lesson with a silver-lining.