Unpopular opinion, I am not a fan of pumpkin spice and only really enjoy it in pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie is one of my favorite pies; however, it appears as though every year there are more and more pumpkin spice products. My local grocery store becomes a pumpkin spice paradise, even going as far as one year having pumpkin spice sausage. I really want to know who went to a board meeting and said “you know what we need? Pumpkin spice sausage, it will sell”. I understand pumpkin spice lattes, because it semi makes sense, so I accept them, but once it spreads into savory foods I get concerned. I think the pumpkin spice craze has blown up way out of proportion and I just do not get it at all. Every year I think we have reached the peak of pumpkin spice territory, but the next year it gets even crazier and there are even more products. One constant in life is that the pumpkin spice industry will never cease to amaze me. On the same line on pumpkin spice sausage, I really want to take some time to discuss some of the weirdest and craziest pumpkin spice products I could find.
Why? Who thinks to themselves “dang I really want to cover up the smell of my shit with pumpkin spice so that the bathroom can smell like poop mixed with pumpkin spice”. Poo-Pourri is not 100% effective, I know from experience, it will create a smell like nothing you have smelled before, and it will not smell fall fresh. Plus, the price of this is 10 dollars and it will last a long time, do you only use it in the fall and then put it away until next fall? Will you just use it all year round? I just feel as though that is way too much money to pay for a scent that you may only use in the fall.
Kernel Season’s Limited-Edition Pumpkin Spice Popcorn Seasoning:
Okay, this one caught me off guard not only because it is gross and I cannot imagine it tasting good, but also it is currently sold out on Walmart.com. Now, I rarely use popcorn seasonings so I have never tried them, but this seems like they would not compliment each other. I understand that caramel corn is a thing, so maybe this sweet and salty mixture would taste good as well. I do not think so, but I am biased against pumpkin spice odd products.
Pumpkin Spice Scented Toilet Paper:
This was probably made as a gag for people to send as a joke to friends; however, it is still weird none the less. I actually found this one especially funny because I assumed it was the paper that was scented and so I thought to myself “that is a yeast infection waiting to happen”. However, after reading the reviews I figured out that the scent is in the cardboard and not on the paper, also the reviews were hilarious. Some people genuinely bought it to scent their bathroom, but some did send it as a gag and wrote about their experience. This toilet paper does run at 7 dollars a roll which is very steep, and I would never pay 7 dollars a roll for any form of toilet paper even as a joke.
I think that pumpkin spice has become a staple in American society, even finding its way into memes, and I do not think its reign will end anytime soon. Every year I find myself laughing at the insanity of the products so they do contribute a benefit for me in the form of comedy.