Kuch toh log kahenge, logo ka kaam hai kehna

Dear overbearing aunty,

I am writing to inform you that your constant biased comments never fail to torment

receptive minds and dissuade them for pursuing their dreams.

Your nagging questions and judgments…

“What are you studying beta? Science or Commerce?” 

“How did your family allow you to take humanities?

“Did you not get good marks in the 10th grade?”

“Only rich kids can afford to take all these time pass humanities subjects”

… continue to perpetuate the stereotypes that exist in our academic system, stifling

the youth to think outside the box, to take risks…

Albert Einstein once said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” This makes me question why does this hierarchy of science, commerce, humanities even exist? The same people who claim to praise movies like 3 idiots make hypocritical comments like, “Did you not think of your career before choosing the arts?” These movies teach us to follow your heart, your passion whether it is wild life photography or engineering. They teach us not to get consumed and caught up in the never-ending rat race. But the real question is to what extent are we able to implement it?

My dogmatic family checks off all the clichés. We are boisterous, loud and unapologetic. As a quintessential Marwari family, a business community, we are proud of our BBA and CA graduates and anyone taking up the humanities becomes the prime example given by parents and relatives to their children for whom you should never turn out to be like.  Whether it is their incessant itch to teach me how to become a dutiful homemaker or their halfhearted participation when it came to conversing about my education abroad, their orthodox roots were impossible to alter or even hide. I’m not saying that they aren’t fond of me. I just wish their dream is to see me graduating instead of “marrying me off”. Comments and questions like “girls eventually need to learn how to adjust and be supported by their husbands” and “Akeli ladki abroad??” started to annihilate my confidence. I was gasping and choking for a pillar of support, which I guess my parents were able to see after a point and offer me.

While acquaintances, were busy fretting over my inability to pursue science and my decision to choose my métier over marriage, my parents were the ones who told me that my words did matter. While we have lakhs of kids studying to build and repair machines, human beings are so much more complex than that. While science and commerce explain the world in a black and white monotone: humanities aids us to explore the greys. As I still hold on firmly to my beliefs, I eventually learnt to live by the lyrics of one of my favourite Kishore Kumar songs,”Kuch toh log kahenge, logo ka kaam hai kehna”.

By Tanisha Agarwal, for the Trans Solidarity Fundraiser

• ASHOKA UNIVERSITY
• Trans Solidarity Fundraiser