Coming in at #3 we have a feel, good Disney Channel movie that is often forgotten about when discussing Disney’s revolutionary transition into original movie productions:
#3 My Date With the President’s Daughter
While I most definitely sure that none of us want to be in the same position as Duncan with any members of the current First Family, I can guarantee that this light-hearted comedy will give you those feelings of nostalgia and make you wish that you were immersed in the Disney Channel Original Movie universe. This film symbolizes the happy-go-lucky circumstances we all wish we were experiencing, but can’t due to our nation’s presidential candidates debate or rather fight like they belong in a 2013 World Star Hip Hop post. Duncan is an average teenager who, by chance, asks out the most high profile teenage girl he could imagine, the president’s daughter. Their date turns into a game of cat and mouse, in this the secret service and the unlikely pair of lovebirds. Throughout their night together, Duncan shows Hallie a glimpse of what it’s like to be normal, and what it means to have control in one’s life. We can all laugh through the second hand embarrassment of chaos that was the first debate, and revel in the possibilities of Duncan’s predicament occurring in 2020.
Now I present to you the screaming match of all screaming matches, louder and more intense than an Animal Planet documentary, this movie takes disorder to the next level, with words spilling out each actors mouth like an endless supply of alphabet soup and anarchy only comparable to the personal attacks Joe Biden and Donald Trump spewed at each other in for the entire world to witness.
Movie #2 can only be described what the President thinks he is capable of but fails to achieve: the level of grit, integrity, and most of all respect for women needed to take on such an important role.
#2 Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
As someone who has compared himself to the great slayer of the bloodsuckers, Honest Abe, Donald Trump has yet to show off his skills in battling the undead, in this case the CDC, without making himself look like a fool. The movie follows Abraham’s transition into adulthood as a part-time vampire hunter/part-time President of the United States, after his mother was killed by a vampire bite. His life was equally balanced with campaign’s for office and learning the arts of vampire slaying. Although the movie’s Rotten Tomatoes rating is on par with Donald Trump’s receptiveness with American voters, I think we should give this masterpiece another chance to showcase its wonderful storytelling and impressive action scenes.
#1 Uncut Gems
In this disasterful masterpiece, Adam Sandler takes on the role of a charismatic yet sleazy jeweler with mountains of debt, much like our current president, who makes a bet that could cost him his livelihood. The film documents Howard (Adam Sandler’s) intense journey to strike gold, to get the win of a lifetime. The film is hallmarked by its layering of language, with characters continually talking over each other, creating an ambiance of disarray, mounting the stakes of Howard’s deals higher and higher as the movie progresses.