Many of us have moved states, countries, and even continents, where we’ve left behind some of our most amazing friends. Through today’s conversation with my best friend, Maumna, I want to express to you all why holding onto those friends is important and how Maumna and I have maintained our friendship despite being 6,000 miles apart.
In conversation…
Throughout our life, we meet several people and find the ones that stay with us for the rest of our lives. Best friends, you know, they have a way of crawling back into our lives even after a huge fight, even after going weeks without talking, simply sticking on to you.
But sometimes, life takes turns that separates you in a way that can’t be helped. Maumna and I have been friends since the sixth grade and haven’t stopped being since. We were talking the other day on the phone and realized how different our friendship has become from the one we had thought it would be. We imagined graduating high school together, imagined going to college together, possibly living together during the glory days of our lives. Yet, look at us now. We are 6,000 miles apart.
But surprisingly, we haven’t changed a bit towards each other. She’s still the OG! Maintaining a long distance friendship *eye roll* is difficult—but at the same time, it’s not. Because, honestly speaking, when you develop a connection with someone, it lasts a long time.
Maumna: “The friendship that we had in the beginning built a strong enough bond to withstand the distance”.
Me: “There is a level of comfort whenever we catch up… even after going months without talking”.
Just the way we agree on how our friendship has been shaped over the years, we also believe that there is no harm in reaching out as well. Since we’ve known each other through the rough patches, we know how to advise each other and how to console each other.
It is extremely important to hold on to these types of people.
Texting and sending each other hilarious memes will become the new normal and you’ll start to look forward to your monthly catch-ups. You will learn to keep up with each other without getting too distant and you’ll learn to understand that there might be another new best friend in their lives.
“With us, our families keep up with each other… it’s easier for them to always keep comparing us” *facepalm*.
We’ve talked about how easy it is to stay in touch and remain friends. Now, let’s talk about what makes it so difficult.
To be honest all of the above count as reasons for long distance frienships being so difficult. Realizing that you can’t talk every day, realizing that you won’t be able to hit the library for a quick study sesh, and realizing that you will be replaced—they all are sometimes difficult to digest.
Moreover, you’re left out of so many of one another’s important events—birthdays, graduations, boyfriends, break-ups, and so much more. And those insane time zones don’t make it easier for us. We have to find the right time to call up the other. Somedays, you’ll find yourself picking up the phone and realizing, “maybe it’s too early for her” or “she’s probably at school”, and giving up on that chance to catch up.
Phone conversations are not the same as in-person conversations
“How is it being friends now versus when y’all were friends before?,” you might ask?
Well, when we were living in the same neighborhood, we would have each other for every small errand. Whether it is going cycling around town or going to parties together. We’d always be together. We were each other’s support system in a way—I knew I could bombard Maumna with all my complaints and she knew she could drown me in her gossip. But, you can’t really do that when you’re thirteen hours apart.
Because now, it’s become a friendship where we look forward to sharing the main things only. Who started to date or who changed their major or what new changes are coming our way. Not so much the daily news of the neighborhood.
But through this, what we really want y’all to understand is that when it comes to having relationships or friendships that might need a little extra work, but are absolutely important, you should try your best to protect them. Not for someone else or for the sake of simply holding on—you should do it for each other. Because if they are an important part of your life, then you sure can bet the same is true for you in their life too.
Be it having to wait a month to talk to each other or not being able to have those in-person conversations, you’ll be grateful for holding on to them when you realize that they are the ones that’ll always have your back.