In the words of Oprah Winfrey, ‘Good riddance to decisions that don’t support self-care, self-value, and self-worth’. Don’t make yourself small and feel pressured to not take the time to care for and support yourself. Just as the well-being of the individuals around you are important, so is yours. You could argue that your well-being is even more so important, as if you are unable to support yourself, how can you properly support another? Thus, take the time to be there for YOU. Furthermore, grant yourself the serenity to accept the things you cannot change, courage to change the things you can, and wisdom to know the difference (Reinhold Niebuhr). Show up for yourself always.You’re a worthy individual and deserve to know and show yourself that each and every day.
Thus, let’s begin supporting ourselves proudly right now. Say it with me, I AM WORTHY; I AM BRAVE; and I AM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN.
One practice to support self-care, show self-value and acknowledge self-worth is through daily self-affirmations. Self-affirmations are positive reminders or statements that can be used to encourage or motivate yourself. Moreover, there are large benefits to using self-affirmations in daily life such as combating stress, having a brighter disposition and boosting your overall health. Additionally, there are many ways to incorporate this practice in your life, for example saying affirmations out loud in front of a mirror, writing them down or repeating them continuously in your head.
There’s value in being your biggest supporter and we need to remember to encourage ourselves as much as we do onto others. The following are some of the many different affirmations in which you can say to yourself; however, find the self-affirmations that resonate best with you. The self-affirmations won’t have the greatest benefits unless you actually believe what your telling yourself.
I GIVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME
You know what’s right for you and your well-being. Don’t let others dictate your actions and force you into doing or not doing things. More importantly, surround yourself with the right people who will support you and won’t act controlling or judgmental towards you. Allow people in your life who understand your choices and don’t question what’s right for you. At the end of the day, you don’t need to explain or justify your actions to yourself or to others. Be confident in your choices and allow yourself the permission to trust your actions.
While having the right people in your life, understand that it’s okay to say no to others when you need to. You don’t need to be at every hangout, if you’re unable to. You don’t need to be available or social at all moments. You’re allowed to take time to rest and be with yourself. Let’s change the narrative of ‘being busy’ to include taking the night for yourself. ‘Being busy’ doesn’t always have to mean having a paper due in the upcoming days or that you’re attending a social event. ‘Being busy’ can literally mean you need a night to sit at home, with a facemask on, eating tasty treats and watching a Disney movie in the background. Always take time to do what’s right for you and don’t feel guity for doing so.
I GIVE MYSELF THE CARE AND ATTENTION THAT I DESERVE
You are important. You deserve love, care and attention. Take the time you need to feel happy and ready to be present in life. If you need extra love and care, give that to yourself without scrunity. There are days where you need to spend an extra bit of time on yourself and you don’t need to find reasoning for the need to do so. Furthermore, you don’t always need to look to other people to uplift you; you can support yourself as well. And who knows you better than you? Most importantly, don’t put yourself on the back burner as a way to compensate for other responsibilities. It’s very easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle, always concentrating on the well-being of others or ensuring everything else is in order besides yourself. However, you need to make yourself a priority. If you need to catch up on extra sleep, do so. If you need to meal prep to ensure you have a full healthy meal, take a night to do that for yourself. Your wellness is essential and should be prioritized prior to other responsibilities.
On top of knowing when to give yourself care and attention, it’s crucial to acknowledge when to step back from giving that to others. It’s important to be a support system for other people; however, you need to know when to take a step back for yourself. You can’t fill another glass when yours is empty. There are many other resources, in addition to yourself, that others can go to when they are in need. Compassion fatigue and burnout are real conditions and can have detrimental effects on your well-being. Thus, remember to take care of yourself, so then you’re able to support others at your utmost best.
I ACCEPT MY EMOTIONS AND LET THEM SERVE THEIR PURPOSE
Stop beating yourself up for how you’re feeling. Your emotions are valid and there’s a reason you’re feeling them. In society, there’s pressure to continuously belittle how we’re feeling and tell ourselves we’re making a ‘big deal out of nothing.’ However, life happens and we’re allowed to be upset if circumstances don’t turn in our favour. Furthermore, on the opposite end of that, you’re allowed to be excited over the mundane things in life too. Be ecstatic over the great latte you got this morning or the fresh bed sheets you washed the night before. Life is too short not to embrace and revel in all that you’re feeling.
I GIVE MYSELF SPACE TO GROW AND LEARN
No one really knows what they’re doing in the present moment or how decisions now will result later. Give yourself the space to try new things and figure out what works best for you. Don’t try to rush your process of living your authetic life. Everyone moves froward at their own pace and will take different pathways throughout their life. Thus, don’t diminish what you’re doing in the present. The actions and choices may not make sense now, however, you’re gaining life experiences that will further grow you as a person and lead you to where you’re meant to be.
For those reasonings, remember to be patient with yourself. You’re still learning how to navigate life and all the different possibilities it gives you. In particular, you shouldn’t be harsh on yourself for changing your mind or not following your typical status quo. Who you were yesterday doesn’t equal to who you will be tomorrow. As people we are the sum of all experiences to the present moment. Simply put, you’re able to have different opinions and do different actions depending on whatever you’re feeling in the moment. Allow yourself to be an ever growing person instead of a finite one.
I ALLOW MYSELF TO BE WHO I AM WITHOUT JUDGEMENT
Be who you are, and do it proudly and loudly! Don’t belittle your interest or talents. If you’re gifted in a particular area, acknowledge and share that to the world. Revel in all the things that make up who you are. You’re a unique individual and deserve to celebrate that. It’s easy to compare oneself to others and wish for other qualities, abilities or interests. However, if you were to have these other traits, then you wouldn’t be you and what a sad world that would be without your individuality.
Furthermore, don’t put yourself down. Sometimes things just don’t work out–for no particular reason. Sometimes you make mistakes, and that’s okay too. It doesn’t mean that you’re ‘not good enough’ and it doesn’t always mean that you aren’t giving it your best. Bring more positivity into the relationship you have with yourself. Give yourself more love and compassion, rather than constantly overanalzing and criticizing every step you take.
Lastly, embrace all aspects of yourself. For example, if you’re sensitive, you’ve probably been told to ‘toughen up’ or to ‘get over it.’ However, being sensitive is actually a good thing. Your ability to empathize, sympathize and be sensitive to not only your own situation, but others’ as well is a gift. Not many people possess extreme sensitivity, and therefore, don’t understand it. Next time someone says ‘you’re too sensitive,’ take it as a complement and say ‘thank you.’ Always be unapologetically you.
At the end of the day, you should always do what’s right for you. Self-care, self-value and self-worth are all important and should be acknowledged each and every day.
I challenge you to do something completely for yourself this week. Treat yourself to a new book or a favourite treat you normally don’t get. Take yourself to dinner and order an appetizer, entree AND a dessert, because guess what honey, you are a whole meal.