Pulling Yourself Out of the Post-Grad Rut: An Anonymous Interview With A Recent UCLA Grad

You complete your undergraduate degree; an accomplishment materialized and legitimized by your diploma. A token to begin the rest of your adult life. To enter the real world and finally, to begin adulting. Now what? 

I had the pleasure of interviewing a first generation, recent UCLA graduate who completed a Bachelor’s degree from, arguably, one of the hardest majors at her school with a near 4.0 GPA, along with numerous involvements in school organizations and community service. However, this incredulous academic success and active involvement did not come without a cost. By the end of the school year, this alumna felt lost and numb; not to mention that she had been going to therapy for the last 2 years. Although she chose to be anonymous, I hope that her personal, inner struggle with post-grad life will inspire and ease the minds of students who will be turning this corner of their life or may also be experiencing lost feelings at this moment. 

KIM: Did you have a plan post-graduation?

UCLA GRAD: I wasn’t entirely sure what path to take. At the end of my senior year, I kind of had a mini early-life crisis. I had been set on going to medical school and enjoyed my activities, but this fear of missing out and this idea of “what if there’s something else out there that could fulfill me even more” creeped into my head.  So I obviously freaked out. I kind of focused on classes and graduation activities, putting jobs off to the side to avoid the big “what’s next” question, which I realized was wrong.  Eventually, I realized that taking jobs during my gap year would help me explore so I was excited at that prospect. I was thinking of working with nonprofits that aided low income communities or working as a medical receptionist. Or perhaps, exploring research through a lab assistant position.

KIM: What career-path were you aiming towards? What made you decide to explore those fields?

UCLA GRAD: I wanted to go to medical school and hopefully get a master’s in public health. I’ve always wanted to go to medical school since I was in elementary school. I’ve always been fascinated by surgery videos and mystery medical case documentaries since I was in the first grade and it’s still one of my guilty pleasures today. I also really love helping people and making plans that’ll provide them with the best solution. In college, I loved working with patients so much so that it’d make me want to overcome my anxiety and show a positive version of myself so the people I worked with received the best care. 

As for public health, I began thinking about this option when I realized I wanted to understand how to improve healthcare accessibility to disadvantaged communities. But, with the storm that came in the last two years of college where a majority of people I knew began to openly deal with mental health issues, I began to consider studying how social factors impact mental health in minority communities.”

KIM: Were you able to recognize that you were experiencing the “post-grad rut” right away? 

UCLA GRAD: After graduation, I was burnt out. The fear of not knowing what steps to take to get to my goals, the realization of how difficult it actually is to find a job and the increase in my anxiety due to the addition of personal struggles as well as the loss of a structured lifestyle (class, access to therapy, hanging out with friends, etc.) all made me feel like I was collapsing. I literally spent a few months stuck in bed, feeling sorry for myself. I did not want to face reality because I’d be overwhelmed by the entire job process and this immense pressure to choose the “right job” and the “right path”–basically just having it all together, especially when most people seemed to be doing so well out of college. 

I didn’t recognize that I was in a rut right away. It took me a while to even accept that I was stuck. I felt terrible, like I was in this pit that I couldn’t seem to find a ladder out of. It was a long process of journaling and trying to reframe my thought process of comparing my current reality to that of others. Once I began to notice this, especially after hearing from others how negative I was being,  I decided to work on myself and realized I was the only person that could change my own reality. I had to be willing to go through uncomfortable feelings and to not be so harsh on myself in order to continue moving forward. I do remember one big instance where I began to feel myself snapping out of that blurry, dreamy state. 

The first time was when I looked around my room and realized that I was living in a mess. I “marie kondo-ed” the shit out of the room that day. I thought maybe if I changed the external, it might help change the internal. So I started making my bed again every day as soon as I woke up. I figured if I had at least one win for the day, then it was something at least. And slowly I started trying to get one or two things done at the very least per day to feel myself become productive again.

KIM: What are some actions that you take to improve your quality of life and motivation?

These are the things I did:

• Attempted to get 1-2 goals done per day at the very least

• Made a to-do list to create a sense of structure in my daily life again

• Working out as a form of self-care

• Journaling and talking more with friends and family 

• Became more grateful for what I have and my accomplishments

KIM: How did you start the job applying process? 

UCLA GRAD:

1. I compiled a list of job search engines

2. Brainstormed fields I might be interested in 

3. Contacted my references to give a heads up

4. Googled away and found positions or companies I thought were interesting 

5. Made an excel spreadsheet with position info, requirements, date applied, follow up date, status of application, interview date, etc

6. Set a goal of the number of applications I wanted to send in per week, but tried to not be hard on myself if I didn’t meet my goal

7. Remembered to take breaks and found a place in my home to do my job search– environment really helps 

8. Asked friends about interview questions they encountered and did my research on the interview process to be well prepared

KIM: What was the most difficult part about the job-finding process?

UCLA GRAD: Waiting was the most difficult part of the job process. Sending in application after application and not receiving a status update was hard too. It made me lose motivation at times, but I’d try to distract myself with other side activities. Then, I got  myself to apply to more jobs to feel like I was getting closer to my goal. Finally, I was luckily successful in obtaining a job that I’m really excited about and that has put me back on my career path!

KIM: Do you have any tips or advice for new graduates?

UCLA GRAD: Finding a job or freaking out about what career path to enter isn’t worth sacrificing your health, nor will it help make the process any easier. Remember to take some time to take care of yourself and reach out to others if you don’t feel like yourself.  If you’re doing well, reach out to friends because that message may help them feel more connected with others. 

Keep in mind that there’s so many paths to success, so don’t pressure yourself to mold yourself into other’s definition of success. Every experience is valuable and you can always learn from these obstacles and the not-so-perfect jobs as long as you keep an open mind. With that being said, don’t freak out about achieving everything on a timeline. Not everything goes as planned, so try to remain present in the moment and remember that there is no end of the road, just obstacles. You’re all strong enough to overcome that obstacle, although some of us may take a while longer to overcome that obstacle.

Although the COVID-19 pandemic has made everything so much more uncertain and exponentially difficult, keep in mind that this is all a temporary, yet difficult obstacle. Reach out to others, especially now, and support one another. It might seem difficult to move forward, especially since things are out of your hands, but use this time as an opportunity to work on a passion project or gain more skills, whether it be about art, self-care, being a better friend/family member. So remember this graduate’s experience and take control of your career path!

• Class of 2020
• depression
• graduation
• job search
• mental health
• motivation