I’m pretty sure it was romantic comedies that taught us to feign disinterest in a crush so that they become suddenly interested, falling madly in love you. Taking forever to text back and leaving them on read might work in a movie… but when the tables are turned and a person does it IRL, it’s absolutely infuriating. Being on the opposite end of the fake disinterest is one thing, but being on the opposite end of real disinterest is much, much worse.
It’s hard to distinguish between the playing-hard-to-get-leaving-you-on-read and the seriously-stop-talking-to-me-leaving-you-on-read unavailability. If you’re basically inept when it comes to differentiating between the two, especially over text, don’t worry. I talked to some college students and got their advice on how to decipher when crushes really aren’t that into you.
1. They respond with one word—like “haha” or “ya”
If they start sending you single word texts and responding briefly with “lol” and “ya,” then they’re probably not interested. If I’m being honest, nobody has that little to say.
“Usually they send short, one or two word texts and reply sporadically, and refuse to explain why they do that if questioned about it. Also, they tend to avoid any kind of meaningful conversation,” says Audrey Lent, a student at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo.
2. Their responses are too simple to carry on a conversation
If their responses are so generic and one-dimensional that it’s impossible to carry on any kind of conversation, then it might be time to move on.
Even if they do respond with more than one word, the words they use still might not mean anything. If they never share anything personal, never ask you any questions, or never have anything interesting to say, they might not be interested. (Or they could be just really, really boring.)
Here are some common ones to look out for.
- In response to something you said: That’s cool, sound fun.
- In response to asking how he’s doing/what he’s up to: Nothing much, just chillin, nothing, you?
- In response to a question that requires more than a yes/no answer: Yes, no.
3. You don’t text very often
We all ignore people we don’t like. We walk in the opposite direction when we see them on campus, make excuses why we can’t hang out, and avoid talking to them at all costs. It’s the same with texting. If someone likes you, they’ll make an effort to talk to you. If they don’t, they won’t.
Autumn Dube, a 2017 graduate of Emmanuel College, agrees. “Aside from what they text, how often they text you is telling, too. If someone you like isn’t giving you the time of day or always has excuses as to why they aren’t texting back often, that’s very telling that they don’t see you as a priority.”
So basically, if they take forever and a day to text back, or leave you on read all the time, they might not be your prince(ss) charming.
4. They never text with any emotion
If they never, ever send any emojis or even say “haha,” they’re either a robot (unlikely) or not that interested. No one has such a lack personality that they never laugh or show any emotions. And anyways, aren’t you really supposed to overdo it with the “lols” over text to make sure you don’t seem emotionless? Aren’t emojis and memes pretty much the only way to successfully flirt over text?
So chances are if they’ve never said lol, sent a smiley emoji, a laughing emoji, or anything to show you that they’re enjoying the conversation, they probably aren’t. Don’t waste your time chasing after someone who doesn’t feel the same way back. Go find someone that will laugh at all your jokes, send you funny memes, and actually texts you.