I don’t want to brag but I was living my best life at school. I deleted all my social media, I went to the gym every day and I was living an intentional and healthy life. For the first time in a while, I really thought that I had my life together.
But, of course, the pandemic changed everything. As word got around that my college was closing I promised myself that I’d be super productive. I’d try to work out every single day. I would keep up my diet. I would study and do my homework early like I did when I was at school.
Looking back it’s adorable that I had so much faith in myself. I must have left my will to live at college because I can’t find it at home.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m still working on the goals that I set for myself at the beginning of the year. My grades are still great. I’m eating as healthily as possible. I’m trying to be the best version of myself. But, I can’t find myself to do any of the extra things that I would at school. I don’t run. I haven’t gotten ahead of my assignments. I feel the urge to nap like five times a day and it’s killing me.
I try to be productive but honestly, it feels like it’s impossible. Talking to my other friends they agree. If we were at school we would be sprinting for the finish line. But it feels like the last few weeks of school is more of a marathon than a sprint.
As I accepted that I had to suck it up I feel like I went through the different stages of grief. I couldn’t believe that I wouldn’t be going back to school any time soon. I was upset that a whole semester of college seemingly disappeared. I thought that if I just tried hard enough I could make my home feel like Rowan. But, I was angry when I realized that I couldn’t.
And finally, I accepted this radical change in my life. Finishing a semester of college online isn’t easy. Especially when I was in a really good routine while at school. But, it’s what I (and millions of other students) have to do now. And it’s okay. We will be okay.
This isn’t an excuse to slack off. But, it is time to be gentle with yourself. Yes, you might not be living your best life. But you have to try to live the best life that you can. And hopefully, in the near future, the world will be back to normal again.