According to a study recently published by the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, people are wanting more out of their relationship than ever before. If you have ever thought that having high standards was a bad thing, you might want to reconsider it. The study found that at least when it comes to marriages, having higher standards can make a relationship better or worse.
For example, when you have high standards for your partner, it can lead to a sense of disappointment when they can’t deliver. If you have low standards, well, everyone is selling themselves short pretty much and it can be depressing. However, the study found that when it came to happiness in the long run, the 135 newlyweds who filled out the questionnaires every 6 months for four years, high standards and relationship satisfaction showed a strong positive correlation to each other.
However, what seemed to be a point of contention in both the happy and the not-so-happy relationships, was sarcasm. Sarcasm, as opposed to pointing out issues that every couple will face, can actually be the kiss of death for some relationships. Pro-tip: having high standards and low sarcasm will lead to a good relationship.
Because high standards are not only good for relationships but also other things in life, here are four other reasons why you need to keep them high.
You Don’t Want To Settle
A study done in 2014 found that couples who, as they got older, put being in a relationship above the quality of the relationship ended up pretty miserable, for a lack of better words. Similarly, those who had low standards ended up dissatisfied with their relationship, especially those relationships that stemmed from the fear of being alone. Never settle for less, no matter what anyone says. You will find your person in your own time.
You Respect Your Self-Esteem
The same 2014 study also found that people who had lower standards were more than willing to tolerate behaviors that would affect their self-esteem. The researchers found that people with lower standards were more interested in people who had no intention of respecting them. These people are more likely to put you in the back seat when they deem it necessary.
Um, I’m sorry no. Unless you want to be treated as an inconvenience when it suits your partner, then it is time to up your standards.
It’s Good For Personal Growth
According to a 2015 study, having standards helps in the “self-expressive era.” What that means, is that if you cannot find someone who suits your needs for a partner or co-partner, then you are more likely to fulfill the desire for your psychological needs. This will lead to personal growth and evolution of yourself into the person that you are meant to be.
It Will Challenge You To Be Better
When you have high standards for your partner and your relationship, then you are also setting up high standards for yourself. You are basically setting a bar for both of you to achieve, so you are more likely to rise to the challenge. However, if you and your partner are not able to meet those standards, then all bets are off. Basically, at that point, it might be time to rethink your standards and try and find a relationship that will suit your new needs because no one wants to submit to a relationship where they are unhappy and have no standards at all.