In a slightly unexpected turn of events, BU decided to close its doors and send students living on campus (read: me and a couple thousand others) back home to ride out this coronavirus quarantine. This threw just about everyone into a frenzy whether they’re on or off-campus. Our school was oddly quiet for so long while every other school was shutting down that I figured maybe they would spare those few of us who had hunkered down in our apartment-style dorms. But alas, BU finally called it last Tuesday night and my heart sank.
I was frustrated, yes, but at that moment I was thoroughly disappointed. On the surface level, I felt perfectly comfortable in my dorm and I had just stocked up on food to face what could possibly be weeks cooped up in my place. I also was not looking forward to boarding a plane and potentially putting others at risk when I returned home. But at the core, I was sad because I had finally found my groove again in the semester and I had so many things to look forward to in the next two months. I was also heartbroken for all of my senior friends who might not get a proper graduation ceremony, my friends from high school who might not get to go to prom, and so many other milestones that make growing up the fun, messy, and exciting thing that it is. There is so much uncertainty in the air that I cling onto for a bit of hope during these confusing times, but in reality, I know that this kind of crisis takes time to heal from and so all we can do is wait it out together and support one another.
As I pack up my room that I moved into at the beginning of the semester (R.I.P.), I have been trying my best to keep my chin up and focus on all of the amazing things I was able to accomplish during this semester, as well as all of the happy memories I made in this space. All the Sunday morning pancakes, face mask dance parties, late-night study grinds, and charcuterie boards. The soft hum of the city outside my bay window, the fairy lights lining my ceiling, the smell of someone baking brownies, my roommates laughing together in the kitchen. I’m going to miss every one of these little details.
It’s a bittersweet goodbye, since this was the first place on BU’s campus that truly felt like a second home to me. My room was my little oasis and I knew after a long day I could come back here and feel completely at ease. I’m not sure when I’ll be back in this apartment which I love so dearly because I am supposed to go abroad next fall, but only time will tell.
As an ode to these wonderful three months I spent nesting in this apartment and going to classes I truly loved, I have created the ultimate farewell playlist. To kick it off, I included the song that has been stuck in my head since BU’s evacuation announcement was sent out: “Bye-bye Darling” by BORNS. This jam feels like the only song that can fully encapsulate the grand sort of sadness that I’ve been feeling lately that combines the immense amount of nostalgia I’ve been feeling with my hope that everything’s going to turn out fine. I also added some tunes that remind me of the easy living kind of mindset I felt this past semester like “A Sunday Kind Of Love” by Etta James. I tried to combine a few different moods on this playlist since I’ve been feeling every kind of feel lately.
Going home just feels so abrupt at the moment, but I’m grateful that I have a home to go to. There are so many students out there trying to figure out their living situation for the next who-knows-how-many months and that cannot be easy under the immense stress and panic that this pandemic has brought upon us. Fortunately, most schools are letting students stay on campus if they are under these kinds of dire circumstances––it’s a much-needed support system.
I know in my heart that this too shall pass, but right now it’s weighing particularly heavily on my heart. I am looking forward to the brighter days ahead when friends can reunite, classes can resume, and we can all proceed as normal. In the meantime, keep yourselves safe and do whatever it takes to keep your mind and body healthy. :)
xoxo,
Emma
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