Since I was younger, I’ve dealt with many insecurities and lacked self-confidence. It affected me so bad to the point where I would cover my mouth and avoid eye contact when talking to people. Why? Because I was afraid of having my face judged, and I was too shy to look people directly in the eyes. It made me nervous! The reason why I grew into that habit was because people would point out my flaws randomly. I was sick of it and decided to just hide, that way I would avoid getting judged. My palms would get clammy and my heart would race too. Yeah, a little girl shouldn’t feel that way just from talking to someone. I HATED feeling that way so I decided to make a change. Now, being in college, I have slowly grown out of that habit and practiced how to control those insecurities. Don’t get me wrong, I still have my days where I feel awful and down about myself-which is totally normal- but doing these things helped me deal with the way I view myself. Here are some tips I learned from dealing with my insecurities and hope to help you as well:
1. Do not compare yourself to others.
It is so easy to compare yourself to other people, especially on social media. First, it is totally normal to admire other people. There’s nothing wrong with admiring how they look or what they do. It’s human nature. But ,when you are upset with yourself for not looking like that person or doing the same things they do, that’s when it becomes a problem. I learned that not everyone is going to be the same. which is why there is NO point in getting upset for not looking a certain way. Instead, I decided to change my mindset on how I view MY appearance. I can’t change my body but I do have the power to change my negative mindset into positive thinking. This trained me to love myself even more and accept my flaws. If you are constantly comparing yourself to other people, it’s not going to change anything! It starts by changing your attitude on how you view yourself. You do you and they do them.
2. Accepting your flaws and loving them
I had to sit back and think about the good and bad things about myself. For example, I have a bad habit of overthinking and stressing out way too much. However, a positive thing about me is that I am always there for anyone who needs help, and I am learning to put myself first when it comes to being happy. In order to be happy and deal with my insecurities, I had to point out my flaws and grow to accept them. There are physical flaws like acne, scars, body size, etc. and there are mental flaws like bad temper, gossiper, manipulator, and things like that. I realized that there are some things that I can’t change (like for example it might be the way my nose looks or my height), however, I came to a conclusion that I am grateful for even being alive and if I can’t change the way I look, I can change the way I think. From there, I began to accept my flaws and love myself for the way I am. As for the other flaws on the way I act, it can be changed as well. First, I had to accept and understand why I act the way I do. Dealing with my stress and overthinking became easier when I understood the reason behind it. As a result, I had to change my attitude and the way I react towards certain situations. Accepting that you have flaws is a sign of self-awareness and healthy thinking.
3. Stop dwelling on people who don’t like you.
Oh man, I used to care SO much if someone didn’t like me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish for people to hate me.I try my best to spread positivity and good energy overall, simply because I treat people the way I would want them to treat me. Yes, there will be random people who will express hate towards you for no apparent reason (I recently had an encounter with that) but the thing is, I laugh it off and leave it behind me. You are never going to please everybody and that’s just facts. I am slowly learning that people will project their own insecurities towards you which is why YOU have nothing to do with what they’re saying or how they act towards you. If all you do is mind your business and there is someone coming at you for no reason, then that just says more about what kind of person they are.
4. Detach yourself
In high school, I felt the need to wear makeup every single day. I felt very insecure and self-conscious when I had a bare face. Once I went into my first year of college, I began to detach myself from makeup to feel beautiful from within. So, first I wore less makeup than usual and eventually no makeup at all. I started to feel confident in my own skin and noticed that I didn’t need makeup to be “beautiful.” All I had to do was detach myself from the things I relied on to make me feel good. I love makeup which is why I’ll always get dolled up when I’m going somewhere special however I don’t need it to make me feel confident. Another example can be social media. Sometimes it can get rough and toxic so I like to take a break from it and just do the things I love, like working out, walking my dogs, cooking, watching YouTube videos or Netflix. When I feel cleansed and complete, I will then go on social media simply because I want to, not because I need to rely on it for my happiness.
5. Be grateful for what you have
At the end of the day, no one is perfect, and that’s simply because we are all human with flaws and problems. There is nothing wrong with that. Instead of being ashamed of how you look or act, be grateful for the things you do have that make you happy in life. Instead of complaining or wishing you had “this” or “that,” focus on the things you do have and be grateful for them. Complain less and instead work harder towards a goal. Always practice gratitude but be hard working at the same time. Always grow and learn because it will take you to better places.
I hope this helps anyone who is struggling with how to deal with their own insecurities. Let’s make the world better by spreading love and positivity instead of hate! You never know what someone is going through so please let’s just be kind no matter what and if someone doesn’t appreciate that, just know you still did your part. Trust me, it is way easier and a better lifestyle when you are nice to others.