Candy is one of the best parts of Valentine’s Day. It’s up there with Halloween with the holidays when it’s socially acceptable to stuff one’s face with sweet stuff. However, all V-Day candy isn’t created equal, and here’s my subjective ranking of popular candies:
WORST: Fun Dip
Admittedly, I’m probably ranking this one so low because I’m jaded. The first time I got a Fun Dip in a classroom Valentine’s exchange, I was in second grade and didn’t realize that you were supposed to dip the stick into the powder. So I shoved the powder down my throat and then proceeded to suck on the stick as though it was a lollipop, and it tasted horrible. The next year, I got the powder all over the kitchen table and my mom yelled at me for making a mess. Embarrassing childhood memories aside, I never really understood the hype behind Fun Dip. Half of the powder gets stuck to the stick which is barely edible. Not to mention, it’s messy. We can do better for Valentine’s day, people
ICONIC BUT OVERRATED: Conversation hearts
Conversation hearts are cute. I love the sayings that they have. But the taste? They have little flavor. I know that it caused a big stir when they were pulled from the market a few years ago, but I wonder if they improved the recipe? I’ll have to try some this year to find out.
THE TRUE NEUTRAL: Sweet Tarts
I got sweet tarts a lot as a kid, not only for Valentine’s Day but for Halloween and in birthday party goody bags. In my opinion, they’re the great equalizer of all candies. They’re inexpensive, easy on the stomach, not messy, and somewhat (but not hopelessly) addictive. I give them out to a lot of people, and everyone accepts them gratefully. I guess that some people can’t handle the sour flavor, but I can and I quite enjoy it.
THE ABSOLUTE BEST: Chocolate
As a person who has been single for over two years, the reasons that I don’t hate Valentine’s Day is that it’s a time of year that’s socially acceptable to read romance novels and watch romantic movies and because there’s usually a lot of chocolate involved. My mom used to buy me chocolate for Valentine’s Day when I was little, and now I exchange heart-shaped chocolate boxes with friends. In my honest opinion, anybody who doesn’t like chocolate is simply a strange person.