There are a multitude of culprits that can make the pursuits of self-love tough. Whether it be models on Instagram, celebrities on your favorite show, or even close friends who just seem to have it all; there always seems to be something around the corner to test our self-confidence. When we get into those self-critical pits, we need strategies to help us remind ourselves of our own worth and capabilities.
Here are some tips to help you remind yourself of the love and admiration that you deserve to feel about yourself:
1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others- You Are Good Enough
I know this is said all the time and is much easier said than done, but it is said so often because it is rule number one of self-love. When you compare yourself to another person, you are judging your own life and appearance according to another individual. This is one of the worst things you could do for your self-image and esteem because you are trying to punish yourself for being someone you are not. Everyone is meant to be unique, so don’t take what makes you special as what makes you inferior; don’t cause yourself undue mental and emotional stress.
2. Keep People Around You That Appreciate You For Who You Are
Nobody wants fake friends; that is pretty much indisputable, and the reason why they are called “fake” friends is that they don’t deserve that title of “friends” in the first place. Friends are people who genuinely enjoy your humor, personality, and company; they appreciate and see beauty in the most authentic version of yourself. If the people you surround yourself with shun you for being your natural self or ask you to change so you can “fit in” better with them. Their relationship with you is one-sided and doesn’t come from a place of wanting to form a real friendship. If you are always having to conform and change yourself around someone, it can be a very hurtful and invalidating experience. To avoid that unnecessary headache, seek out people who you don’t have to hide yourself from.
3. Limit Negative Self-Talk
In this age of self-deprecating humor, this can be hard to avoid altogether. It’s easiest to say to yourself, “Oh my God, you’re such an idiot!” When you accidentally mess something up, but what you should be saying is, “Oops! Didn’t mean to do that; at least I’ll know better next time!” When life’s little mistakes happen. Don’t look at your mistakes, failures, or shortcomings as mistakes that say something negative about you that isn’t true. We are all human, so that means we are naturally fallible. Take your mishaps and view them as learning opportunities to put towards self-improvement, wisdom, and confidence. If you are always putting yourself down, then you won’t appreciate your wins, successes, and all the things you do that make you an awesome person!
4. Don’t Obsess About Your Social Medias
Social media influencers, celebrities, and even your close friends may have social media feeds filled with compelling images of life. They usually post about parties, friends, good food, and fancy vacations, all pristine with perfect filters and lighting. When you’re sitting on your bed in your sweat-clothes and messy hair while everyone else seems to be having the time of their life can be a hit to your self-confidence. Don’t let these ridiculous unwritten rules stop you from sharing your experience online; you have just as much right to be seen for who you are and what your life is just as much as everyone else. Also, very importantly, take steps to avoid equating your happiness about your online presence to number-checking, like counting your likes and followers. Social media should be about sharing your life and connecting with others; not playing a numbers game where whoever gets the highest score wins. Becoming too obsessed with “perfecting” your feeds can stop you from actually enjoying the activities you post about on there. Free yourself from the perfection and numbers game and live your life!
5. Find a Style That Makes You Feel Good About Yourself
My least mentally-taxing piece of advice. Your clothes say a lot about you as a person; they are a physical manifestation of your personality. Wearing clothing that you feel doesn’t speak about you as a person, or doesn’t flatter your body can take more of a toll on you than you think. Your clothes and makeup should accentuate your favorite features in a way that improves your self-confidence. But remember, don’t shy away from patterns, prints, or cuts that society tries to tell you don’t work for you. If the clothes make you feel powerful, happy, and confident- wear them!
These are only a few tips to remind yourself of your own worth. Another important note is that self-love is a process, and our feelings about self-image can be something that continually ebbs and flows. But learning how to be kind and patient with yourself makes dealing with the uncertain waters of self-image much easier.