I once read a quote by Kyoko Escamilla. It said, āYour 20s are your āselfishā years. Itās a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time.ā Being in your twenties is messy and itās beautiful all at the same time. Itās confusing, exciting and chaotic all at once. Iāve only just begun my journey of being in my twenties and hereās what I think of it so far.
No, you donāt have to have life figured out yet
I vividly remember waking up on my twentieth birthday last year and thinking to myself āOh god, this is it. I am twenty now. But I havenāt even figured my life out yet. I canāt be twenty, Iām not ready.ā So yes, I had an almost-quarter-life-crisis. But I am here to tell you that life is not supposed to be figured out by the time you enter this new decade of life. You donāt have to have all of the answers. Also, you wonāt have the answers anyway. Your twenties are rough. This is the start of becoming an adult. There is the stress of college, graduating, starting a career, taxes and the oh-so-confusing world of dating. As much as you might want to be a girl boss and have all of lifeās most confusing things answered, just slow down. Take things day by day and just live your life. Itās not a race.
Donāt be afraid to make mistakes
I have made countless mistakes, and I wonāt even be 21 for a few more months. Itās inevitable. And itās okay. Your twenties are the time to mess up within any realm of life. Do you hate your major? Change it. Want to move across the country? Do it. This is your life and you canāt be afraid to live it. I was so scared of making any changes to my life until I realized that one day I was going to look back and regret staying so stagnant. Iāve messed up plenty of times. I mess up pretty much daily, if I am being honest. Thatās just life. Stop fearing mistakes and regrets. In the end, they teach you the biggest life lessons.
Not everyone will like you, so stop trying to please them
This is just the truth. The cold, hard truth. Even before I turned twenty, I had an annoying (and bad) habit of trying to please people and Ā be the best I could be, even if it meant doing it for people who treated me poorly. I would so desperately want to impress people and to constantly be this seemingly perfect girl. But I realized itās just not worth it. Not everyone in life will like you. This goes for relationships too. I would try so hard for guys that could care less about me. Looking back, it was my mistake that I wasted so much precious time on those guys. You have to realize that, especially in your twenties, you will not be everyoneās cup of tea. Thereās nothing wrong with that! By finding the people that donāt like you, it will lead you to the people that do. You just have to find them, even if it takes some time. Itāll be worth the wait. Fill your life with people that love and respect you.
Make mental health a priority
One thing that I never really dealt with until I entered my twenties was mental health in general. I have always been a pretty positive and happy person. I am lucky to have a stable home and good friends and family. But, a few months after I turned twenty, I had my first experience with anxiety ā the not so pretty type of worrying. It caught me off guard at first. I ended up not doing well in classes, isolating myself and constantly worrying about things. I think mental health is a really huge part of your twenties. It comes in waves, and some days are better than others. But thatās life itself. Things like anxiety and depression are real and you have to take them seriously. Even if you donāt notice it in yourself, if you see a friend struggling, be there for him or her. Mental health isnāt the easiest thing to handle and sometimes all you need is support. Donāt be afraid to reach out for support and talk openly about your stress. Itās so crucial.
I am slowly learning to love my twenties and everything that comes with it. I wish the same for you, too.