We all have been there or at least know a friend who has. He says, ‘I am not ready for a relationship right now’ when you were really ready to take things to the next level and then next thing you know faster than a flash of light he is with someone else. But what he really means to say is ‘I am not ready for a relationship with you’ as I will explain to you. Trust me I am an expert on this having learned the hard time a couple of times.
As the famous quote goes ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’, likewise your relationship with him and his relationship with her took some time to build the foundations. The fact that he has found someone to be with so quickly is no coincidence at all, it has probably been his intention for a while now to pursue the other girl. Yes, I know the term ‘a while’ is quite vague, but trust me it differs in each and every case. Whether the foundations of your relationship are a bit rocky, like a one-night stand, or very stable like a two year long friendship –foundations take some time to be built up. As someone who once got into a relationship in 5 days in one case, to 3 months in another case, I know from first hard experience that the foundations of a relationship do not happen in one day, no matter how serious or causal it may be.
He probably doesn’t mean to hurt your feelings, so he used that excuse because he thought it would be the easiest thing to say to you to make it seem as if he is the problem and not you. This stops him being depicted as a villain from you, your friends and his friends, because he realised that you deserve better than what he can offer you. The fact that he wasn’t even willing to try to give you what you are worth but give it to someone else is just evidence that he was ready for a relationship, but just not with you unfortunately. But honestly, he did not think about the repercussions which will follow from what he said when you find out that he is dating someone else. This will make him come across as the biggest type of villain there is, the infamous fuckboy.
You are probably wondering whether you should confront him about his dishonesty. My answer to this is no, no and no. You do not want to give him the satisfaction that you are not over him and any excuse for him to portray you as this super crazy ex which he was never even with in the first place. Keep your pride and head high, turn the other cheek because trust me bad karma is heading his way in no time. This does not mean that his actions are not wrong, but just that someone like him is bound to have some real bad luck heading to them any time soon. Like in a couple of months when things didn’t work out with the other girl and sees you happily living your best life with someone 100% better than him on all of your social media accounts. Trust me, he will text you saying is ready to give it a go and you will be so over him and have like 10 guys lined up to date you. In other words, he will probably regret his decision later on, but by then you will be so over him that you will not even consider giving him a chance.
So, you have some insight into what I think a guy means when he says ‘I am not ready for a relationship with you’. I hope you take my advice seriously as you would hate to learn this all from first hard experience.