Something I’ve learned from being in college is that it’s hard to be far away from family, but it is specifically hard to be away from my mom. She always brings positivity and uplifting words to me when I feel like giving up, even from 230.7 miles away. Not only have I established a trust that’s deeper than any I’ve ever had, but I think we might have grown a little too close. If you ask anyone who knows me and my mom, we’re almost the same person.. exhibit A: peep the pants.
Since this week is all about female empowerment, I thought I’d share with y’all the pieces of me I hold closest to my heart: the love and lessons I have learned from that woman to help me through the worst of times.
1. The only people who deserve your time are the ones you choose to give it to
You do not owe a thing to anyone. That includes your time. Nothing anyone says or does can change this, and I think it is so important to know the power you actually hold with the time you have. Whether it was a relationship I’ve had to beg to be a part of or something I participated in because I felt I had to, my mom always reminded me, I don’t need to do a thing I don’t feel necessary. There is so much value in time because we are given so little of it in our lives. Why should any of us waste a second doing anything that doesn’t bring us joy?
2. There’s nothing a full set of lashes can’t fix
Confidence comes from a lot of things and feelings. One of them is the feeling of a new set of lashes, or nails, or a head of freshly trimmed and colored hair, you get it. My mom and I are the biggest girly girls you’ll ever meet and we don’t care one bit. I used to hide the part of me that was girly because I grew up in a small town in the country, and didn’t think I was allowed to be that version of myself who longed to be in the city being pampered everyday, until I became close with my mom. And yeah, she’s 50x my girly-girl version, and not to mention, way better at being one than I ever will be. The point is, she showed me how finding confidence in self care— self investment is probably a better term— can completely turn your mood around. Whatever it takes for you to feel like a bad bitch inside and out is something that shouldn’t be passed up, so why let it? Whatever it is, do it and have no regrets in doing so.
3. Stop trying to think of all you have to do at once.
My mom told me this one this year actually. It has really made me reevaluate the way I look at tasks and even changed how I start my weeks. It can be so overwhelming to look at all the tasks you have to complete in a week: tests, papers, projects, etc. I tend to look at everything that’s due and think I have 10 minutes to complete them all. In reality, beginning with one thing is a good starting place. The more tasks you can complete, the more empowered and motivated you feel to start the next. You CAN get through anything, just don’t try to tackle it all at once.
4. Three things to make you feel better: a workout, a shower, a nap. In that order.
I am constantly reminded how much this woman knows me, but this one really had me shook. I remember freaking out over all the stress I had on me at one point in the week and my mom told me to workout, shower, and go to bed. While usually I wouldn’t give in to such a simple response, it was apparent at that moment that what I really needed was sleep. Sometimes it is as simple as that, and sometimes it’s not, but it’s always a good idea to try.
5. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
THIS. This has all the credibility to be named “best for last” of my five things because truthfully, I would not be writing this today without the support of my family and my mom and my friends and all the people who helped me get here. Honestly, I wish my mom would take her own advice sometimes when it comes to this. She tries to take on the tasks of so many different things, struggling to manage it all. It really is true, the strongest of people take on the most without anyone even knowing! In reality, we can’t juggle it all. Life is tough sometimes, it really is, and when we think it should be simple, it’s not. I get it; there are days life will overwhelm you to a breaking point. DO NOT BE AFRAID OR ASHAMED TO ASK FOR HELP. Because everyone does. You are not alone in that and never think you are. We have all had our times of despair, and I wish we were all a little more open about it. Maybe then we could get to a world where we’d all feel a little more confident, happy, and EMPOWERED.
So yeah, I’m pretty lucky to have this woman. I hope you all also have a female figure in your life that is as smart, helpful, empathetic, genuine, fun, and creative, as my mom is because she’s definitely been the biggest figure in my life the past few years to empower and build me up. We could all be a little more like her in the way she hypes up the smallest things, listens to the smallest inconvenience, and is constantly concerned with the well-being of the people around her.
With all the love and venti non-fat lattes in the world, Mom,
your Bug