There are lots of things that midterm season encompasses—coffee, stress, lowered immune systems—and really, all are very, very accurate. But if there’s one thing that midterm season makes us believe, it’s that a bad grade on a test means we must not be as bright as we think we are. This, in turn, makes us think less of ourselves in a way that is not necessarily true, and it’s important to remember this one thing:
you are not your bad thoughts.
I wish there was a way for you to see yourself as you truly are. No, not pretty with red lipstick or bada*s with a high ponytail. But instead for your kindness, your resilience and your strength.
So often these days we get caught up in the thoughts of “Am I smart enough? Doing enough? Worth enough?” that we forget to celebrate our small goals because instead, we spend so much time obsessing over our failures.
And failure? Well, that’s an interesting word. Yes, in the literal and figurative sense, it is possible to fail at something—a test, a job interview, a paper. But you see, those are all things in which there was a right outcome. Life? Well, there’s no right way to do life, and you can’t fail at something that has no right answer.
It’s easier said than done to just accept that life moves on after a setback. It’s not exactly the easiest thing in the world to bring up a bad grade or land the next interview. But that’s just part of what makes us human. It’s also what’s part of making us resilient. We do and we do and we do and we try and we try and we try, until it all falls into place.
But it’s important to remember, during these times when you might not see the light at the end of the tunnel, that the things you tell yourself to bring you down are not accurate. You are not the voice inside your head that tells you “you can’t do this.” I mean, yeah, I get that it’s your conscience quite literally talking to you, but it’s not actually y o u. Your thoughts do not comprise your entire being.
I’m not going to sit here and quote poetry to you or try to make you believe that I know anything at all. I just want you to remember, the next time that the thoughts inside your head are weighing you down, that just because something didn’t go as planned does not mean it defines you.
We spend our whole lives inside our heads; it is the only home we will never leave. Our thoughts are our furniture and foundation and the words we use to define us are our pictures and wallpaper. If you don’t like the way the ugly painting on the wall makes the rest of the place look, take it down. You don’t have to pay any rental fees, so heck, tear the place down and start anew if you must.
At the end of the day, you just need to make sure it’s a comfortable place to live.