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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Toronto chapter.

What does home mean to you? Some of you may associate it with the exciting feeling of coming home to the cacophony of your family’s voices as they ask you to narrate your tiring day at school. For those of you who have crossed oceans to attend a university, home could also pertain to the motherland – the place where you spent your childhood and built your roots. It could also be the community of people you’ve met during your university journey – the people whom you study with during long exam season nights and the people whom you consider as your second family.

Home could also be the very act of celebrating your cultural identity with individuals of the same ethnic background, especially during times when you miss home a little too much. Home has a variety of meanings that are influenced by time, space and lived experiences. And as a Filipino immigrant who is about 8,000 miles away from the Philippines, I can definitely say that my idea of home has significantly changed in meaning ever since I packed my entire life in bags and started a new journey here in Canada.

Home is more than just a location. It’s the feeling of belonging

Last September, I had the opportunity to attend the launch of the Pinay Collection, a Filipino clothing line that aims to “celebrate and reclaim Pinay identity” through fashion. By using the owner Jovie Galit’s creative calligraphy skills to beautifully render various Filipino words on apparel, the brand concretizes Filipino empowerment through the marriage of language and art. As an immigrant navigating through the challenges of assimilating in the Canadian landscape, this memorable experience made me realize that home is more than just a small dot on the map or a brief moment in the past that can only be spoken about in past tense.

Home is the deep emotional comfort of belonging no matter where you are in the world – the unexplainable excitement of being surrounded by your people as you speak your native language and enjoy authentic delicacies that hark back to memories of your childhood. During the event, I couldn’t help but smile as I freely spoke my native language to my people and wrote various Filipino words in calligraphy – a simple joy that reminded me of how inherently beautiful my culture is. Being in that very moment felt like home.

Ideas of home and our identity are so intertwined 

As a Filipino immigrant who was born and raised in the Philippines, the feeling of isolation or loneliness would often trap me within this internal battle – a constant questioning that people who left their motherland for university or people who live independently would often ask themselves. I used to constantly question myself: Who am I? Do I really belong here? There are moments when I would take a step back and reflect on the way I perceive the world – a perspective that has been so influenced by my years of living in such a cosmopolitan country. I would question my actions and decisions with the assumption that my stay in Canada has gradually erased a part of my Filipino identity – an identity that is grounded by a strong inclination for communal activities with family and an appreciation for the simple things and unhurried moments of life. Just when I was so unsure of my authentic self, the universe then takes me by the hand and introduces me to the wonderful Filipino community here through Jovie’s empowering brand, the Pinay Collection. 

After this experience, I learned that there are so many spaces and ways for us to celebrate and to make a home away from home – from participating in school organizations, eating your country’s cuisine, attending cultural events happening in the city (many of which are free and accessible) to reading literature in your language. At first, it may seem like a challenging and daunting feat to overcome, the nervousness of wandering through these spaces and meeting new faces, but trust me when I say that when you finally discover it, you will feel an indescribable ease, familiarity and intimacy that is very difficult to replicate anywhere else. In my case, a simple calligraphy class allowed me to concretize my love for my native tongue and reminded me that my Filipino identity never left me at all. 

Home will always be a part of who you are!

Gloria AnzaldĂșa wrote the following lines in her work Borderlands: “I am a turtle, wherever I go I carry ‘home’ on my back”. Home will always be a part of your identity, no matter where you are in the world, just as how it is a huge part of mine. When you start to feel anxious or alone, scared or doubtful of being in a certain place, remember that your family, your friends or your community of people will always be there to make you feel like you never left home. 

*All images belong to the writer.

Edited by Tasmiyah Randeree

 

Isabela Quito Villanoy is a University of Toronto alumni who double majored in English Literature, and Book & Media studies, and minored in Women and Gender Studies. She is also the founder of an online community Instagram page called Ihayag, a community that aims to reveal and proclaim the stories of Filipino/a/x immigrants and diasporic identities, where she shares her Filipino pride. While being both a writer for Her Campus U Toronto and an Editor at the MNERVA Literary Journal, Isabela dabbles in various creative passions related to reading, drawing, music, and photography. She is currently working with various Filipino writers all over the world for an online zine called Sa Pagitan / Liminal which deals with the in-betweenness of identities. She is currently leading a small team of writers in preparation for the first self-titled issue coming out soon.
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