How To Help Your Best Friend Through Her Very First Breakup
As girls, we’ve all been taught that our first breakups will be hurt. I mean, we all saw what happened to Carrie when she and Big broke up, and even more recently Netflix brought us the story of Jenny from “Someone Great” which provides viewers a peek into the emotional rollercoaster that is The First Breakup™. Finding out your ex has a new boo, though. Now that can really mess a girl up.
As with most first relationships, my best friend’s was picture perfect. Dates under the stars, sweet little surprises, and of course, the envy-inducing, so-cute-you-almost-want-to-puke Instagram posts. He brought out the best in her and she did the same for him; it was a true love story. However, relationships can turn sour no matter how badly we want them to work. After 10 (almost blissful) months, countless I-love-you’s, and one pretty nasty argument, they mutually decided to split. She knew that starting off as a college freshman with this newfound independence would be good for her, so she moved on. Neither of us were prepared for what happened two weeks later… He got a new girlfriend. Cue Spotify’s “Breakup Songs” playlist.
For the next 24 hours, give or take a few, her mind subjected her to all the what-ifs and if-onlys it could muster. It takes time for our hearts to heal and watching someone you love go through such a painful ordeal can take a toll on you too. So, now that everything has blown over and she’s moved on to bigger and better things, I asked my friend what you can do to help your friend through a breakup. Here’s what she said:
1. Listen.
You know when you’re upset and someone tries to give you good, but maybe unsolicited, advice? When a girl is going through a breakup, the last thing she wants to hear is “They’re not worth it, girl.” So rather than spit out every single Pinterest quote about girl power you can think of, try listening to what she has to say. While this will help you understand what she’s going through, it might also help her work through her own emotions as well. Lend her your ear and your shoulder and let her get it all out.
2. Wait Until She’s Ready For Trash Talk
In this era of Cancel Culture, it can be easy to forget any and all good qualities about someone (especially the one that broke your friend’s heart). Be careful what you say, though, because it’s very likely she’s not over her BF/GF yet. Even after all they’ve done, she might still miss them and as her best friend, it’s your job to know when she’s ready to let the good times go.
3. Distract, Distract, Distract!
We all know that when you lay in your bed listening to Lana Del Rey, you’re bound to get in your feels. One of the best ways to avoid this happening to your heartbroken friend, is to constantly keep her distracted. Whether it be watching movies, doing homework, or just chatting about anything and everything, the more time she spends focused on your conversation is less time she spends thinking about her ex. My friend’s personal favorite distraction was old episodes of The Vampire Diaries. Avoiding the cute scenes between Stelena, of course.
4. Shop ‘Till You Drop
Retail therapy is a tried and true method to getting your best friend back on track, no matter what she likes to buy! While places like Forever 21 and Pacsun provide trendy clothing to browse (and potentially buy), your friend might not be into clothes, so find what she loves to look for. Maybe she likes to read, in which case, bring her to a bookstore and let her go crazy. Trust me, she’ll appreciate it. Even window shopping will satisfy that need that we all know we have.
5. Let Her Know You Love Her
Above anything else, make sure your best friend knows you’ll always be there for her. Losing someone you care about is never easy and odds are she’s beating herself up about it a lot more than she lets on. Remind her how amazing she is as much as you can and reassure her that she’s an independent woman that does not need a S/O. Know that you are doing all you can to help, but only time can heal.
Times may be difficult, but a friend makes everything better. Friendship is a two-way street so remember when your heart is aching, your friend is doing her best to support you.