It’s back to school! As some teens are picking out their new backpacks and binders to return to high school, others are spending way too much money on useless (but cute) dorm decor and gearing up to head to college. For many college freshmen, this will be the first time living away from home and the first time being away from their loved ones (and more importantly, dogs). For some, it will also be the first time tackling a full workload of college-level courses.
The transition to university life can be extremely daunting for many. For those moving far away from their hometown often find themselves needing to completely start from scratch and build an entirely new life. They are then tasked with making new friends, forming a new social support system, discovering useful resources, understanding their workload, and so much more. Among this immense list of struggles, finding their place in such a huge and new environment tends to be the most difficult.
Many freshmen don’t necessarily claim to have a hard time making friends, they often complain of not finding the right friends. It can be easy to find acquaintances, but everyone constantly talks about finding “their people.”
During my (recent) transition, I found that I kept easily getting caught up in new and exciting social circles. Every week, I would find a new group of people that seemed friendly and would attach on to them. After a little while, I found myself not enjoying the time spent with them. I also found myself altering my appearance or even suppressing certain personality traits just to feel like I fit in. As someone who has felt fairly self-assured, this feeling of insecurity was new and frightening.
This helped me understand a huge struggle for many freshmen. Whether we would like to admit it or not, many of us are a little scared. Even the most confident can be scared to feel alone in a foreign place. We all want to feel like we belong. Because of this, it is easy to get swept away in the madness of establishing a social life in college.
One thing that I have learned amongst the chaos is that your vibe attracts your tribe. You aren’t going to meet your bridesmaids within the first month of college (unless you’re incredibly lucky). You especially won’t find your people if you aren’t being your authentic self. The right people are going to be attracted to who you are naturally. Forcing friendships out of convenience will only get you so far. Happy people attract happy people. Similarly, unhappy people attract unhappy people.
So what does this mean? At the end of the day, don’t be afraid to wear your favorite shirt and join that club you were too embarrassed to in high school. Putting yourself in a position to find like-minded people is vital. College is a time of exploring and experiencing all that your school has to offer. You are now in a place of thousands of people, there is bound to be someone who is like you.
At the end of the day, finding “your people” is a marathon, not a sprint. You should never force unhappy relationships just because you are scared to be yourself or scared to be alone. Embrace who you are and embrace the new. The universe will work in your favor. As cliché as it may sound, good things take time, so just be patient!