I’ve been dealing with mental health issues for as long as I can remember. I’ve always felt anxiety in situations that other people seemed to do with ease, like hailing the bus to stop a block before my stop, answering the phone/front door or asking for help in class. Depression has dragged me down. It leaves me like this: spending night after night in my bed with infrequent trips to the bathroom, sleeping as much as possible and often freaking out over the small things to my friends.
Being mentally ill and undiagnosed made my life even harder. I had no way to let out the emotions I was feeling and no way to balance the chemicals in my brain that were misfiring and not allowing me to gain that sweet, sweet serotonin. In high school, people didn’t know how to deal with my depression and would tell me that it wasn’t any fun to be friends with someone who’s always sad.
I wish I could have spoken up for myself then, but I didn’t feel like I deserved to. It was true: I was always sad, new situations made me nervous and I was constantly worried about everything. Why would anyone want to be friends with me?
Writing this article now, though, I wish I could go back and remind little-me that it wasn’t me. It was my brain. No one wants to be sad all the time. If I had, I wouldn’t have been so upset when someone had called me out for it.
When I moved into college, my anxiety started to manifest in places I’d never noticed before and even grew worse. It’s hard to be a college student addicted to coffee when caffeine often triggers panic attacks.
Eventually after trying everything I could, I visited the counselling center on campus. I spoke to a professional who referred me to a mental health clinic. I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety and got on medication, while also going to therapy twice a week.
Being mentally ill isn’t easy, but through my years of learning to cope and deal with my feelings in a positive way, I’ve been able to come up with a list of helpful tips for people who may be suffering too.
1. Make checklists!
I know I sound like your regular “get out of bed and take a run!” preacher; however, making checklists is one of the best ways to remain positive, as well as being able to reflect on how much you get done in a day. They don’t even need to be academic. All victories deserve to be celebrated, no matter how small! Write a checklist consisting of only showering regularly, eating three solid meals a day, and drinking water and you’re already off to a great start!
2. Avoid caffeine!
A tragedy! Many will run away in terror at the sight of that title, but trust me! The leg-bouncing and accelerated heart rate that your espresso provides can actually mimic the effects of your fight-or-flight reflexes and cause an already-anxious person to go over the edge. Something as little as the drop of a pencil can ruin the rest of your day! Staying hydrated can make waking up a little bit easier, as well as sticking to a regular sleep schedule. But if you’re someone with a busy schedule, apparently lemon water and other solid fruits can help with energy at the start of your day!
3. Don’t let the general public discourage you from using medication!
So many people help to uphold the stereotype that “they don’t want medication to change who they are” so they manage their mental illnesses through other methods like meditation. I felt this way for years, but since getting on medication, I’ve learned who I actually am. I was always worried I’d be a different person, but I’ve turned into someone who I’m actually proud to be. I obviously still struggle, but medication has changed my life. If you choose not to take medication and you’re handling your mental illness, good for you too! But if you’re someone who hasn’t made the choice yet, please don’t discourage yourself by thinking about how the public views medication. Many celebrities including Kanye West have said their medications have made them less creative or turned them into someone they’re not, but that’s something that should be talked about with your doctor, not the whole world. Doctors are trained to deal with medication struggles, so never be afraid to speak about how you feel.
4. Stop hanging out with people who don’t understand your mental illness
This sounds harsh, but it’s true! If you don’t want to go out on a Friday night because your depression or anxiety is hitting hard and your friends get upset with you because you have no reason not to go, instead of explaining your illness to them repeatedly, maybe think about the fact that these people aren’t understanding who you are. Most people wouldn’t force someone with crutches to go on a walk, so why should people with mental illnesses be forced into situations they don’t want to get into? If you’re having a manic period where you can’t go to sleep and your best friend constantly tells you to leave them alone while they sleep, maybe after explaining your illness after the sixth time, it’s time for them to figure it out on their own. You don’t owe anyone anything. Being surrounded by people who support you and want to lift you up instead of bring you down is how you should be living life!
5. Find people to talk to.
Whether it’s a therapist, your best friend, your mom, or even your piano teacher, finding someone to talk to is crucial. Making sure it’s someone who at least kind of has a grasp on what your mental illness is and how to help you is even more crucial. It can be as simple as sending them a list of symptoms and letting them know which ones you feel most or sitting down and detailing to them what can help you the most. Communication is super important and using your words to let people around you know what you need isn’t always needed, but it’s a skill that you should learn to value and continue to develop.
This is just a small collection of tips that I’ve learned throughout the years. Maybe some of these won’t work for you, but maybe they will inspire you to try something different. Mental illness isn’t talked about nearly enough and if being open with my experiences can help other people see how common this actually is, I’m willing to talk forever.
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