Hey freshman me, it’s ya girl aka your future self. I know you’re so excited to start fresh at a new school and for these next fours years. Trust me you are in for a whirlwind of experience both good and bad, but don’t worry! I got your back and I am here to give you my ten pieces of advice to help you get through this thing…
1. Taking time to take care of yourself is cool and important.
Girlllll, for a long time you haven’t been being kind to yourself physically and mentally. So instead of hating your body go out and buy something you look really pretty in, or go for a walk and talk it out with someone, or try spin class (trust me you’re going to LOVE IT). GET SOME REST, take off your makeup at night and invest in some skincare and other forms of self care. Allow yourself more time to just forget about whatever is going on and do something that will make you feel better. It’s going to be so worth it.
2. I know you don’t think you’re that smart but you ARE MORE THAN THAT SMART.
I know in high school you were never that kid who was in all AP or Honors courses and math was your enemy. I know a lot of teachers never celebrated you on your areas that you excelled in. But once you get to college it’s going to be a whole different story, so work really hard to prove yourself and all those teachers in high school wrong! You are really really really smart, academically and otherwise and you’ll find that out very soon! (We’re gonna get that 3.8 GPA)
3. A lot of people are going to disappoint/leave you and that’s okay!
You are such a ray of sunshine and you will make friends SO FAST your first week of college and throughout freshman year. But I hate to say that even past your freshman year, a lot of people are going to come in and out of your life. A lot of people are gonna let you down and not be as close of a friend as you thought they were. And I know that sounds very dark and gloomy but I promise you it’s not. Those people were meant to come into your life for a reason and help you become who you will be. This time in your life is a HUGE transitional time for everyone. So some people are just not meant to grow with you, but in the future you will find the people who withstand the length of time. And those people, the ones that grow with you, are the ones who are gonna wanna make sure you hold tight to. I promise you’ll know who they are when you meet them ;)
4. Starting finding comfort and joy with spending time by yourself.
I know right now you’d rather be out with your old friends and new friends constantly. So when you’re not it feels like you’re missing out, but girl just you wait because you are gonna have a blast being by yourself. It is going to be the place where you feel the most at peace with yourself and as well as where you find out what demons are inside you that are making you restless at night. The times when you are going to be alone are going to be the most productive times of your next four years, so find your favorite coffee shop and artists on Spotify and get pumped. Doing things on your own is going to be your new favorite way to do things.
5. It’s okay to be imperfect.
To be quite honest with you freshman me, your future self is still struggling with this concept. It is hard to be vulnerable and be okay with failing publicly. But you’re going to get so much more comfortable with failure and it is going to be so much easier to laugh at yourself and give yourself a break. Yeah, it’s gonna be hard to work on this concept but it’s going to be okay, we are going to get through this.
6. You are not intimidating, they are intimidated. There’s a HUGE difference.
I swear if we had a dollar for everyone who has ever confided in us that the first time they met us they were intimidated or scared of us we would have almost enough money to pay off our student loans. And I know it’s going to SUCK hearing people say they were “afraid” of you at first. It is going to make you feel like a monster or that what you look like and who you are is wrong in some way. BUT THAT IS INCORRECT, because those people who say those things to you have far more demons in their closet that they have to deal with than you’d ever imagine. Your aura as well as your confidence with who you are going to scare the crap out of them because they saw something inside you that made them insecure in who they were. Not the other way around. So learn to not misinterpret that comment. You are not a monster, you are not broken, and there is nothing about who you are that needs to be fixed. Be proud that your light is so bright that it scares those who don’t feel like they have any light to give and support the people that are worth it to see that they can shine brightly too.
7. Challenge yourself, always.
Sign up for that writing club even though you don’t think you’re a good writer, try to sing higher than you ever have, eat bananas again, talk to the people that are next to you in your classes, be the first person in your major to study abroad for a whole semester, work those extra early work shifts and take that American Sign Language course. All of these experiences and so so so many more are going to show you that you are truly unstoppable as long as you believe you can, I know that sounds so cliche but it is true. You are going to move mountains one day, my love.
8. Don’t worry about guys, they’ll come into your life when they’re meant to.
I’m gonna tell you a little secret I wished someone told me when I was as young as you are about boys, they’re going to find you the most attractive not because your body is on display a certain way or you hair is perfectly straight or your winged eyeliner is exactly even. They’re going to find you attractive when you TRULY start exuding the fact that you think you are beautiful. It is nothing anyone is going to be able to say or teach you and it comes with a lot of inner work first to get to that place. But do not worry about getting to this level of self love there faster than you want it to, it won’t work. So enjoy the process and understand that the boys you are going to meet are not there to prove your worth. You do not need the validation. You have so much more to give to this world than giving a guy a boner with how amazing you are.
9. You DO NOT always have to be the “Mom” of the group.
I’m only gonna say this once, you are going to go out because you are going to have fun. Not to babysit other people to stop them from making stupid choices, you can’t stop them from making those and learning from them. They’re going to have to do that all on their own. End of discussion.
10. Live in the present and don’t stress too much about the future, it’s gonna be alright.
I know you’re not even going to start thinking about life after graduation because it sounds too scary. And trust me, even as I am a week away from graduating it still is, but you’re going to be so ready for the uncertainty of it all once you get where I am because you have a lot going for you girl. So do not worry about it, the universe has got your back. I promise. So have fun every step of the way, do what truly makes you happy, and don’t do what you think you should do. It’s all going to work out and if it doesn’t it’s because it isn’t meant to, and that’s okay.