The importance of doing what is right for you even if (and especially when) it’s hard…
A major part of growing up is gaining insight to the person you want to become. When you’re younger, you have role models that you look up to and put on a pedestal, but eventually, you become a role model to those younger than you, whether you can believe it or not. What do you admire about these people? I’m sure that their interest and care for what they do largely contributes to their success and are why you took notice of them in the first place.
It’s vital that you’re doing things that empassion you and that you are proud of. If you are not an active participant in your life’s path- if you are a backseat driver on your own journey- it won’t go unnoticed. It will weigh on you and it will become apparent to others, especially those who care about you, but also those who care more about whatever thing you’re doing that doesn’t fit. It would truly be a disservice to both yourself and others if you continued to involve yourself in activities that don’t inspire you or push you in the direction you want to move in.
I’ll be the first to admit that there’s something super uncomfortable about making decisions for myself. I tend to go for the path of least resistance and go with the flow, even when it isn’t the easiest situation for me. Adaptability is important, but so are boundaries and knowing when you are forcing yourself into a mold. For the sake of understanding, imagine you’re shopping and you try on a pair of pants that don’t fit, but they’re the only size in the store at the time and you really like them. There’s an amount of cognitive dissonance here because even though you like the pants, and they may look really good on your friend, or maybe on you at a different time, they simply do not fit. It is no one’s fault, either, it’s just not a comfortable fit. I am all for challenging ourselves to grow and pushing ourselves outside of our comfort zones, but there is a difference between this and wearing a pair of pants that just don’t fit – especially when there are plenty of pants that do fit. What is the point of forcing it?
If you are questioning the way a situation, relationship, or interaction makes you feel, ask yourself if the challenge, gain, and growth truly outweigh the discomfort and potential pain you may be feeling. I’ve been studying biology, and I’m thinking of active transport – moving ourselves against a concentration gradient – against our natural flow. It takes a lot of energy; is it worth all the energy? In the words of Fray, “Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.” No matter how high the stakes may be, you can be your own advocate and potential savior from a situation that is not best for you. Ultimately, we have to grow to be our own role models and respect the decisions we have made and live with them. What would you want yourself to do? Is that what you’re doing?
No matter what the situation is, you are strong and capable and I have total faith in your ability to introspect and make the hard decisions.
xx, Britt