We’ve all been there – at a restaurant menu and feeling overwhelmed by what seems to be an endless array of options to choose from. Or contemplating on whether or not the college major that you chose is the right one for you. And then you go about asking the same questions over, and over, and over, and over again when trying to make a decision about anything in your life.
“Did I make the right choice?”
“What if something goes wrong if I go to this event?”
“Aaaaghhh I don’t know what I’m doing with my life where do I even belong?”
If you find yourself over-thinking your decisions (or lack of) decisions, below are reasons/ways that over-thinking is keeping you from living your best life, and how you can learn to live more freely!
1. Stop Making Decisions Based on What Others Will Think of You
Ever found yourself basing your decisions on what your friends, family, or even peers that you barely talk to but they somehow have an impact on your decision making? If you’ve grown up in a society where decisions were kind of made for you when you were younger, it can be difficult when you start to have to make those decisions on your own. The reality is, it’s pretty awesome, and somewhat a privilege to have that freedom to decide what you want to do in your life.
For instance, when I changed my major, I thought people were going to judge me from going from an intended pre-health major to communications. I thought people were going to judge me (including my parents) for quitting a stem field to do something more creative—something I’ve always wanted to do. Being surrounded by STEM students in this very STEM-focused school (or at least that’s what it feels like at times), I kept on overthinking about what people would think of me. Regardless, I took the plunge and made decisions to do what I want, and am I glad I did. For the most part, people don’t really care about what you do. And if they judge you for doing what makes you happy with no positive intentions, then well, ignore them. If they’re people you care about and they only want the best for you, talk to them. But don’t let the sole reason of your overthinking be based on what you think your “appearance” will look like to others, or what society is telling you is the “right” way to live your life. Only you can decide what feels right to YOU. Do what you want girl!!
2. The Problems That You Think Are a Big Deal Are Usually…Not.
Most of what makes us overthink are just noise. What’s the worse that can happen? As characters Santana and Quinn said on season four of Glee, use the 2-2-2 rule – evaluate how you would feel in two days, two weeks, and two years when making a decision. If the decision would not negatively impact you in two weeks and/or two years, just go ahead and make that decision!
3. It Doesn’t Help With Your Decision Making. Chances Are, You Already Know What You Really Want To Do.
Going back to point #1 above, you might, and most probably know what you really want to do, so save yourself time and do that. Weighing your options when making a decision is a good idea, but if you’ve already thought it through, and you know in your heart and mind what it is you want and should do, what’s the point in thinking it through again?
4. Reach Out To People. To An Extent
If you are really feeling in a dark hole with your over-thinking, talk to people. Bring in your closest bestie(s), someone who understands you and whom you trust – they might just help you to see things in a better light and remind you that what you are worrying about right now is not worth over-thinking. The support of someone will make you feel like you are not alone.
However, do not make the mistake of asking too many people for their input to the point that all of these opinions will sway your decision making in a million directions, resulting in you over-thinking even more. In this case, refer back to point #3. Take people’s opinions with a grain of salt.
Which leads me to my next point:
5. Accept That You Are Going to Make “Mistakes” Regardless.
This is hard for the perfectionists out there. Life is about making “mistakes” and learning from them. The reason that the word “mistakes” is in quotation marks is that mistakes don’t necessarily mean that they shouldn’t have happened. Mistakes are just bumps in the road that lead you to becoming the person you want to be. The saying “everything happens for a reason” is applicable here in the sense that even if you make mistakes, you can learn from them. Despite trying to avoid these “mistakes”, they’re going to happen regardless. And if you plan to live your life without making any mistakes, then you are living a boring life and not truly living. #truth
6. Don’t Ponder On Regret
Similar to point #5 above, what actions you made in the past, you made for a reason. Feeling frustrated at yourself for the decisions you made in the past will only hold you back in life because your past is something that you cannot control. It is never too late to start fresh and let your present dictate what you are going to do in your life RIGHT NOW. Because that’s really all that you can do.
7. So Many More Doors Open When You Don’t Overthink
Your friend invited you on a cool trip? Someone asked you out on a date? Debating on whether or not you should audition for that play? Things that you would have said no to when overthinking are now possibilities.
8. By Not Over-Thinking, You Will Feel Freer
In the end, you want to be in charge of your own life. Over-thinking is a result of a lot of factors– perfectionism, afraid of making mistakes, fear of judgment….all things that hold you back from living your best life. As soon as you make the decision to not over-think as much, you can become 10x happier (this is not an exaggeration I was so unhappy when I over-thought), do things that you’ve always wanted to do but never thought you could do, and have the satisfaction of knowing that you are living a life sans-regrets.
So stop overthinking and start living.