A (Highly Opinionated) Review of Super Bowl LIII

The Game:Overall, the Super Bowl was a major disappointment. It was the lowest scoring game in history with no touchdowns for three quarters. Needless to say, the game itself was boring. Only adding to my consternation is the fact that the Patriots won again. Now they are tied with the Pittsburgh Steelers for having the most Super Bowl championship wins (6 to be exact). I was actively rooting against the Patriots and was disappointed that the Los Angeles Rams were not able to pull off even one touchdown. I cannot pretend to know everything about football, but I like to watch the Super Bowl for the actual sport and competition, despite not knowing everything about each team (occasionally it feels like people get way too invested in the specifics of each player, coach, or general team rather than focus on the strategic elements of the game). Basically, this Super Bowl was a huge letdown.

The Show:

If you aren’t there to watch the game, you are probably there for the halftime show (one of the members of my floor refused to come into the common room until halftime, reporting, more or less, that football was a waste of time). The halftime show was off to a rough start before the game started as a result of the controversies surrounding the NFL’s attempt to hire artists that rejected offers based on the organization’s treatment of Colin Kaepernick. Maroon 5 initially seemed like the perfect, albeit safe, choice; they regularly turn out hits and have an extended discography that lends itself to a show like the Super Bowl. However, Adam Levine and the rest of Maroon 5 failed spectacularly. Underwhelming would be the best word to describe their performance. Just think about performances from the past: Lady Gaga jumped off the stadium arena, Katy Perry rode a larger-than-life tiger, Beyoncé brought out Destiny’s Child! Maroon 5 did not live up to the hype. Levine’s clothing decisions were also odd, with many calling out his hideous tank top and his decision to strip down until America could see his tattoo-covered chest (side note: I really hate his “California” tattoo). Travis Scott’s performance was short and felt out of place from the Maroon 5 trainwreck. Big Boi was also a nice addition. I may appreciate Maroon 5’s music and career (even though they are now pop sellouts), but they were only able to manage a lackluster performance for an audience that expected way more than what they received.

The Advertisements:

So if you aren’t here for the game or for the halftime show, then you must be here for the ads. Every year, companies spend millions of dollars to buy short commercial slots in the hope of reaching one of the largest viewing audiences. Additionally, there is also the hope that particular ads will achieve viral status with millions more watching replayed clips and arguing over which was the most entertaining (read: not necessarily the most successful). Advertisements become a spectacle of their own with star-studded casts and special effects. And, as with each year, there are winners and losers. In the former category: Bud Light’s No Corn Syrup (annoying at times, yet oddly charming), Bubly and Bublé, Microsoft’s adaptive controllers (probably one of the best uplifting ads), NFL’s golden football chase, and the promo for Jordan Peele’s turn with ‘The Twilight Zone.’ There is certainly no ad that seems especially memorable. In the later category: Devour’s “Food Porn” (wow poor choice), Spiked Seltzer (just confusing and not funny), Olay “Killer Skin,” Turbo Tax’s Robot Child (creepy), and my least favorite, Mint Mobile’s “Chunky Milk” (absolutely disgusting to the point where I lost the message). I guess you can’t win them all!

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• super bowl