Over winter break, a couple of my girlfriends and I sparked up a conversation on new year’s resolutions. To my suprise, I heard very few “I want to lose ten pounds” or “I want to find a solid relationship”. Instead, I got a whole lot of “I want to love myself”.
I hear this all the time.
It’s a remark not just reserved for a new year and a clean slate, but also an everyday conversation. It’s no secret we like the way it sounds, as it seems to remind us, ‘oh yeah this is my life’. Now, a month into the new year, I can’t help but wonder what does saying, “I’m going to love myself this year” actually entail?
I’m going to attempt to break it down the way I see it, so roll with me.
The first thing I can tell you is that it involves change, otherwise girls wouldn’t be saying it. Now this being said, fanatically making a list of things you ‘need’ to change about yourself may not be the best way to go. What if you don’t ‘need’ to change your shape? What if you don’t ‘need’ to change your obsession with the bachelor and ordering insomnia? (Totally healthy, btw). What if you only need to change the way you view these things. Learning to love the quirks that define your life, and only yours, could be step one in learning to ‘love yourself’.
That being said, learning what you deserve is critical. Accepting that sometimes is a different process for everyone else. It can be intimidating.
For instance, you owe it to yourself to be healthy. Think about it from another perspective. If your BFF got a cold every other week because she was eating Wendy’s 4for4s every day and staying up till five every night, you would probably tell her it’s time to stop. Out of love of course. Now put yourself in the hot seat. If you have a habit you know isn’t right for you and your health, that’s something to write down on the change for the better list. This is because you deserve that change.
On the flipside, trying to change something for the sake of others doesn’t concern you and your life.
For instance, you don’t need to skinny up to get more likes on instagram. If you want to lose weight, it should be because you deserve that change. Sometimes, while social media may seem like you’re putting yourself at the center of the universe, you’re probably losing your way in the cosmos a little bit. Ask yourself if the approval of others is going to get you where you want to go, and if not, change that for the better!
Hopefully I’m not getting too philosophical on anyone, but if you’re still with me, here’s what I suggest be done.
Listen in. Listen in to your bodies and minds. Ask yourself what you really need to be doing, it could be nothing at all. Sure, a YouTuber might tell say that meditation is essential to kickstarting a love-yourself mantra, but I can tell you firsthand a coffee with my girls will give me more peace than headspace ever could. Of course that’s just me, it could be the opposite for you! I know this because I try and listen in, and while I’m not always good at it, I firmly believe there’s no other way to live than to live for your self!
A month into the new year, I feel this is more important than ever. If we want to love ourselves, we have to love the life that we, and only we, lead. As college women, we are in just the place to do that.
Happy late new year and go on with your bad self!