Unofficially Dating? Yep, You’re in a Situationship

Dating in college is almost impossible, so many mind games and emotions in the mix when you’re trying to pursue your love interest and get them to commit. Nowadays people will say they’re just “chilling” or “talking”. We often mistake these cop outs as us being in a relationship, when in fact you’re stuck in a situationship.

So what is a situationship? “Situation-ship (n) – a relationship that is not officially specified as ‘dating’ as in “that’s my boy/girlfriend”, but neither of you are really hooking up with/talking to anyone else (most of the time). And you’ll do activities that an official couple would often do. So you’re both there just confused — but 100% definitely more than a friendship. Including, but not limited to: being a “thing”; being “exclusive”, but without the label; friends with benefits; and my least favorite — “talking,” said USC sophomore Alyssa Downer.

Most people in situationships don’t realize they’re in one. They’ll get hit with questions like “So are you guys dating?” or “Are you exclusive?” and you’ll find yourself having to awkwardly answer, “We aren’t dating, but we aren’t just friends-with-benefits either…” you never have a solid answer for what you are because there’s no label on your arrangement.

Those that lack a title in their relationship are subjected to getting played time and time again. You do everything couples do but since you’re not official neither of you can get mad if they give attention to someone else. No title means no regulations, no responsibilities, and no boundaries.

Prairie View A&M University student Timothy Scott, 20, gives the male perspective on a situationship stating, “A relationship without the title, is a waste of time if one person (or both) doesn’t know what they want. I’d hit them with the ‘so where exactly is this going?’”

Situationships are all to common in this generation, everyone is afraid to commit. If you’re unsure if you’re in one or not there are things to look for. There is minimal communication between you and your partner. You rationalize that some attention is better than nothing versus speaking up and figuring out what is it that you both are doing. You only see them in the later hours of the night. And making plans ahead of time is like pulling teeth. Though the list isn’t extensive you get the gist.

If you find yourself relating to any of the sentiments above, you’re in a situationship. It’s time to have the, “what are we” talk. Being a full time college student is hard enough, trying to add a fully functional relationship to the mix is never going to be easy. You must both be willing and ready. Communication is key to everything. Don’t put yourself or your partner through the mind games and heartache of a situationship. Make it official or tell them, “Thank you, Next.”

• college
• dating
• relationships