When I recall my personal top 10 list of things that just SUCK, FOMO is definitely a top contender. Knowing that your friends are all out having fun and not being able to physically be there isn’t a fun feeling for anyone, no matter how secure you are in yourself or in your friendships. Whether you have to miss out because you’re sick, have to study or are out of town, there’s just something about knowing you’ll be missing out on all the memories that are about to happen that is so disheartening. But don’t fret quite yet…We totally relate and we’ve got some thoughts to share about the dreaded topic.
I, for one, get really sick of repeating the words, “I’m sorry, I can’t. I wish I could, really!” It starts to feel like a broken record and I hate disappointing my friends. But those words come out of my mouth so often that I’ve needed to find a new way to get the point across without making myself or anyone else upset. I’ve started going for more explanatory phrases, like “My deadline got pushed up and I have no choice,” or “I just can’t make it tonight without stressing the whole time.” It’s helpful for me to remind myself why I’m giving up a fun time for something I have to do, and it’s helpful for my friends to know why I can’t spend time with them this time around.
Another thing I’ve found to be super helpful is taking a step back and looking at the big picture. Yes, missing out blows, but so would failing that test you need to stay in to study for. Your friends constantly recalling things that happened that one night you were visiting your family sucks, but memories with family are nothing to minimize. With some perspective, it gets a little easier to say no when it’s absolutely necessary. Just think really hard about what it is you want so bad that you’re willing to give up so much of your time, and your FOMO will ease up slightly. Trust me, don’t let it know you fear it; it can sense fear.
One more thing that’s really changed about how I approach FOMO in general is making sure I make the most of the time I do have with my friends. If I know I can’t get brunch with everyone next Sunday, I’ll do my best to spend time with my friends before or after then. That way, I won’t have to worry about missing out on too much. This part is tricky though, and time management can really help in situations like these.
Overall, don’t get too in your head about FOMO. Relax and remember that it’s not just you — everyone has to miss out sometimes, whether you realize it or not!