When I hear the words, “keep your eyes on your own paper” I am immediately transported back to a fifth-grade math test. Not only did those words mean not to cheat, but they meant to mind your own work and pay attention to how quickly or slowly others were taking the test.
Last Friday I was having lunch with an older girl that I look up to a lot, and we talked about how easy it is to compare yourself to those around you. When someone else is doing something, we immediately wonder why we aren’t doing that same thing, or how their successes highlight the ways we believe we are falling behind. How, even if it’s something that we literally know nothing about and have no interest in, we sometimes jump to thinking, “maybe I should get that internship, volunteer there, or become interested in that organization”, even if we are already interning somewhere, volunteering , or work with organizations that we are extremely passionate about! We talked about how it doesn’t come from a sense of jealously, but rather an unrealistic desire to follow every road and to be everything all at once. Of course, this never works out, and the times that I have tried to follow a pipedream just because someone else is doing it are the times in life that I most regret. The truth is, when we try and be and do too many things, our focus gets lost. By getting so consumed with our value in relation to others, we lose what truly makes us uniquely helpful to the world. And not just the world, but ourselves as well. Hearing my friend say that she does this was oddly comforting. Since she’s someone that I look up to a lot, I can’t imagine her, of all people, comparing her achievements to someone else’s– but she does. Most of us do! While I don’t know if there’s a remedy for feeling like I should always be doing more, I do know that I can always be falling more and more in love with my own life, the responsbilities that I already have, and the people who I am given to love. I can’t live anyone else’s life but my own, and while that is limiting in a sense, it’s also incredibly freeing.
When I think about the times of my life that I am most proud of, that are most me, they are times when I am completely dedicated to my own passions and interests, not trying to follow anyone else’s road but my own. This certainly does not mean that we don’t get inspiration from others, but it means that we aren’t trying to achieve contentment by following someone else’s road, because the road you’re on is totally and completely yours. I think that the elementary school reminder to, “keep your eyes on your own paper” is a good one.