This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Vic chapter.
If there’s one thing Riverdale is known for, it’s being completely unpredictable. My roommate and I watched the first two seasons together, always waiting for the next terribly plotted, barely sensical thing to happen, never knowing what the show would do next. We’ve finally given up our guilty pleasure (season three is getting too weird for us), but we thought we’d share with you the top 20 times that Riverdale made no damn sense.
1. When Hiram wrestled Archie.
2. When Hermione told Veronica to stop being so thirsty about her own dad.
3. When Archie was the waiter in the tight shirt at Hiram’s poker game.
4. When Mayor McCoy burst into Pop’s and was like, “Josie, you’re a damn fool!”
5. When Cheryl wore a white dress to her twin brother’s funeral. Bonus: when she called him her “soulmate.”
6. When Penelope became a prostitute.
7. Betty’s striptease at the Whyte Wyrm.
8. Betty’s weird dominatrix routine with Chuck in the hot tub.
9. When Betty made a brief foray into webcamming … after her “brother” Chick taught her how.
10. Alice in that incredible dress.
11. When it looked like the FBI asked Archie to spy on Hiram.
12. When Archie and Veronica showered together and Veronica didn’t take off her pearl necklace (insert innuendo here).
13. When Jughead let the Ghoulies beat him up and FP carried his battered body like he was actually Jesus.
14. When Archie and the Red Circle made a gay porn video.
15. When Cheryl acted like a weird stalker to Josie.
16. When all of Riverdale High crashed Jughead’s birthday party and were like “let’s play a game where we talk about our secrets.”
17. When Archie burst into Polly’s baby shower to bitch Jughead out.
18. Archie and Miss Grundy’s freaking relationship.
19. When Jughead sliced off Penny’s Serpent tattoo.
20. When Jughead said “milquetoast.”