Amidst all the glee and high spirit that comes with the holidays, inevitable family stress and interrogation is naturally part of the package as well. As a college student who has no idea what the future holds, my least favorite questions often come up during this time of year. Whether it’s the hopeful look in relatives’ eyes when they ask about your relationships, the much-anticipated pride surrounding GPA or the feeling that they can finally “relate” to you as an adult who now supposedly masters budgeting and maturity, the parade of questions can get overwhelming and intimidating. That is why this holiday season I am leaving nothing to chance with a list — satirical or not, reader’s choice — below of surefire ways out of these uncomfortable situations.
1. Plan ahead
Anticipating the questions family members are bound to ask is a crucial step in maneuvering your way out of them. By now, you probably know who is going to pester you about a boyfriend, who is going to ask about your diet, who is the uncle with a high IQ so curious about your last exam and so on. Having answers ready to go in the back of your mind will relieve some of the tension and better your responses.
2. Focus on others’ interests
The best way to avoid talking about yourself is to get people talking about their own accomplishments, likes, dislikes etc. Ask your family/friends questions about their lives before they get a chance to ask you. Lighthearted topics include pets, TV, new restaurants and their own children. Politics often lead to fights and hostility at my dinner table, but anything to keep the conversation off us, right?
3. Stuff your face
When all else fails, eating a lot makes it difficult to talk. If you fill your Thanksgiving plate to the brim and continue to refill it, one would have to interrupt you to ask a personal question. While they may worry you don’t eat enough while you’re away at school or possibly have developed an eating disorder (ignore the side glances), you will be too preoccupied to engage in conversation.
4. Discuss high school peaks
This strategy is one of the most effective. If college isn’t going as you anticipated, and you are not as successful as you had previously hoped, talking about your past accomplishments will refresh them in people’s minds. It reminds your family that you were at one point going places and makes them wonder whether you peaked early or if the trend is continuing.
5. Throw family members under the bus
Although perhaps controversial, this method diverts the conversation away from you. Failed a test? Got dumped? Gained 10 pounds? Well, what did your siblings do that can rival your downfalls? Start collecting dirt early so you are prepared at every turn.
On a more serious note, when in doubt, grin and bear the questions — they’re just a natural part of Thanksgiving and winter break. I wish you all luck with your families this season and hope that if you have nothing new to brag about, one of these self-tested/approved strategies gets you through the holidays!