A Child’s Swimming Pool

You ask for my forgiveness,

And believe me I want to give it to you.

But I cannot just give away forgiveness like the slight smiles I give to strangers on the street.

I cannot forgive when your apologies are as shallow as a children’s swimming pool.

I cannot forgive you because you are not sorry.

You are not sorry you made me feel like an absolute fool.

And most of all

I cannot forgive you because I love you.

And the truth is that if I forgive you now I’ll forgive you five hundred more times and every time after that.

I’d forgive you until our “I love you’s” turn into ‘I’m sorry’s” and there’s none of me left.

So instead

I choose to walk away and forgive myself

for falling for a man like you.

• expression
• poetry