I remember the first time I walked into the weight section of a gym, oh man. The grunting, the sweating, the undeniable testosterone and ogling. Even after two years of working my way into the weight section, the ogling never stopped. Iâd come home complaining to my parents about how uncomfortable I felt, and my dad said, âI mean look at what youâre wearing,â when I had on black leggings and a long sleeve compression shirt. The issue isnât what we wear or how we compose ourselves as women in male dominated settings, itâs how weâre approached, how weâre being treated, and what is missing in the picture.
I speak to so many girls who refuse to step into gyms because of the men who have somehow claimed the space. They feel that because they donât lift as much or they donât know exactly the right form that they donât belong, that they donât have the right to be there. And as a general rule, yes, there are more men in weight sections in gyms because thereâs always somewhat of an expectation that men should be muscular.
To fall in line with that, typically women are considered intentionally smaller than men. Biologically speaking, women are smaller than men, yes. Biologically speaking on another note, women do not produce the kind of testosterone men do and so will most likely never be larger than the average man. So whatâs the harm in lifting a weight or two. Are men intimidated or do they feel threatened by our presence? Do they feel that weights are their domain because weâre physically less able to lift heavy things? Whatâs really the value in lifting something heavy anyway?
If anything, the fact that women are smaller should be more reason for us to be lifting weights, but weâve got more work to do.
I had to teach myself that the gym was as much my space as it was that of a man. That I didn’t have to apologize for using a squat rack just because I wasn’t loading 45 pound plates onto it. That I didn’t have to try to take up as little space as possible because my workout wasn’t as important as theirs. For all the purposes a man might have to go to the gym, a woman has the same – maybe even more so. If a man wants to grow his shoulders and biceps, why shouldn’t a woman be able to? If a man wants to be able to lift heavier things in daily life, why shouldn’t a woman be able to want the same?
If youâre entirely new to weight lifting and form issues are where youâre hesitant, scroll through some Instagram fitness accounts for inspiration. Iâd recommend trying to find credible sources, and as a rule never over-extend your back in any movement. Scroll through some YouTube videos for form tips, cues and even advice on how to position a bar on your back or hips. Some of my favorites (Instagram and YouTube) include: Jeff Nippard, Stephanie Buttermore, Whitney Simmons, and Hanna Oberg (for a longer list check the end of this article).
If youâre just starting out at the gym, first of all props for getting there at all. If youâre afraid to approach the weight section for whatever reason, donât run to the cardio machines to avoid the grunting and unnecessary amount of arm day bros. Find yourself a corner or a space in or near the weight section to do some movements. Grab a few dumbbells or a bar and try to go through your workout in that space, that way you wonât feel like you need to move out of the way for the people dominating the area.
A few thoughts:
What if people stare at me for doing a weird exercise?
Keep in mind you might not look great in the gym, but the results will make it so worth it. If you know the exercise works for you, thereâs nothing that should keep you from doing it.
Wonât I get bulky lifting weights?
It depends entirely on your approach to weight lifting. If you eat in a huge surplus and train really really heavy, then you might gain some bulk. But at the same time, women donât produce the amount of testosterone men do and so itâs physically impossible to gain âmanlyâ features by lifting. Unless of course youâre taking a bunch of steroids (which is NOT recommended).
Iâm afraid to fail.
I always have been and still am (three years into lifting weights) afraid to stumble or drop something, or fall over with a bar on my back. There definitely have been times where Iâve dropped plates on my toes, tripped over bars or embarrassed myself. But thatâs also part of learning something new, you canât let being afraid of a mistake stop you from being healthier, fitter, more confident. The more you practice, the more mistakes you make the easier it will be to just laugh at yourself and keep going.
Am I doing this right?
If something feels really off in whatever exercise youâre doing, say your knees are in pain, your back is straining, put the weight down and take a second. You might need to lower the weight, thereâs no shame in that. You could ask someone for help with your form, or you could Google what the correct form is for whatever exercise youâre doing, it might be a quick fix like having the bar higher on your back or tightening your core.
Why wonât this guy stop staring?
Iâll be brutally honest, the staring will never stop. Some people donât get the cue, they donât understand how uncomfortable it can make someone to be stared at nonstop. A few things Iâve done in the past have been: stare back, just stare right back until they get uneasy and theyâll stop. Or you could ask them âcan I help youâ if theyâre being particularly rude. At times, you may just want to pick up your things and move a little further away from the person; itâs unfortunate but your time in the gym shouldn’t be taken away by ogling.
As much as the gym is an outlet and an escape from stress for me, it took awhile for me to really find my comfort. Iâve been lifting for three years now and I still occasionally feel uncomfortable in the weight section; it truly is an intimidating setting. Keep in mind that it is just as much your space as it is that of a man. Be patient with it all, get used to the energy and the etiquette in certain spaces. Always put your equipment back and try not to barge into other peopleâs spaces, donât stand right next to someone and start doing lunges, it makes things awkward. If you know another person that also goes to the gym and wants to lift weights, try going together; itâs much less intimidating if you have a friend there with you.
All in all, be patient, be persistent, donât let one bad experience scare you away from the gym, and try to find what you love. If lifting weights isnât for you, donât do it. Simple as that. If you prefer cardio then let that be your niche. But donât let the reason you arenât trying something new be that you think itâs only men. Women have and always have had the right to the gym. Take it. Â
Social Media Recommendations:
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@kayleeullom
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