After leaving a toxic and abusive relationship, I thought that anything would be better and I was right, partially. After finally cutting that person out of my life, I told myself that I would never choose to be with someone who treated me like that again; and I didn’t. I chose someone better, but they were by far not what I deserved. In this process, I learned a few things.
1. Just because something seems better, doesn’t mean it is the best.
2. Just because someone is nicer, doesn’t mean they are the best
3. Just because someone makes you cry less, doesn’t mean they are the best
4. Just because someone makes you laugh a little more, doesn’t mean they are the best
5. Just because someone makes some time for you, doesn’t mean they’re the best
6. Just because someone doesn’t hit you, doesn’t mean they’re the best.
I spent months continuing to settle because I thought it was the best I would ever receive. In one aspect, it was better than the relationship I had first experienced but it was by no means what I deserved. I still questioned myself, I still cried, I still didn’t feel good enough. I ditched my friends for someone who didn’t make nearly enough of time for me. It was like I worshiped someone because they were better than my past. I caught myself saying “I have to stick with this because it is way better than before.” But in saying this out loud, I realized how messed up this notion was; I deserved better and I knew that.
Realizing your self-worth is hard, especially when for you have been used to taking shit from someone who constantly tore you down. Remember that you deserve someone who makes you smile daily. Someone who makes the bad days better. Someone who is not manipulative. Someone who trusts you. Someone who believes in you. Someone who helps you reach your goals by being supportive.
It was ME who decided this and ME who stopped things. You need to recognize when a relationship become toxic, and get out before it is too late. It might hurt for some time, but it will get better, I promise.
Coming to this realization that you are worth it and amazing takes time. It evidently took me a long time to realize I needed to stop settling for less than what I deserved. To be honest, some days I still struggle, it isn’t easy. But, at the end of the day, surrounding myself with loving, funny and supportive people help me realize that I will be OK and that I will find someone who makes everything occurring now seem insignificant. They remind me constantly how great I am and NEVER let me forget it.
Remember that anyone who makes you question yourself, or your values, is not the person for you. Stand your ground. Smile big. Love yourself. And DO YOU confidently.