I recently made the biggest mistake of my life, and it didn’t have anything to do with school, home, or relationships. After a year of new growth, my short curly hair was practically perfect. But for some reason, I felt the need to blow-dry my hair a couple weeks ago.
This is where I messed up.
My curls have always held heat very well, so of course I shouldn’t have used my blow dryer on high…but I did. Now, my curls are no longer tight and full of life, but limp, frizzy and ultimately ruined.
My initial reaction was absolutely dreadful. I cried for a solid two hours, screamed and called my boyfriend and best friend for them to both tell me it looked fine (though Nytia agreed it didn’t look the same) when in my world it was not.
It’s very easy to get swept up in your emotions when you carry so much baggage in your locks. I never had long hair, nor was my hair kept natural until these last few years.
For me, after years of getting my hair straightened, I was in love with my REAL curl pattern. I loved how my hair could move and how I have multiple textures throughout. So, to go from damaged hair, to healthy, back to damaged hair after years of patience…well, it took a lot out of me.
The first step in bouncing back from heat damage is to let out your frustration (if you have any).
My feelings of anger and sadness are valid, so I allowed myself to feel those emotions instead of holding them in. And yours are valid too. Cry if you need to, just make sure you take care of yourself afterwards.
The second step is to continue with your healthy hair routine. Don’t lose hope. I wash my hair about every two weeks (depending on how dirty it is getting) and deep condition once a month.
Now that I am back to square one, I will be deep conditioning every other week, but I will maintain my normal routine as far as oils I use, and most of my products will remain the same. The goal is to condition more, shampoo less, and always make sure your hair is moisturized.
Finally, find peace with knowing your hair is not who you are. Curly haired cuties usually grow up hating their hair, so to us, hair is more than something growing out of our head. I see it as my identity, who I really am, who society tried to cover up, so to have it taken away hurts. BUT, it is just hair. As long as you, and me, are confident in who we are, our hair doesn’t define us.
Remember your hair will grow. It’s hard to move on from a setback in every aspect of life, but you can do it! Continue to push through, because I will too!